ramblings and more

Zman

2012-01-14T09:50:00.001-08:00

New year

2012-01-14T08:42:00.001-08:00

Wow I completely fell off the blogger wagon hu? Lots have gone on, but ill get into that later I suppose. Here's to hoping I can start back up and get caught up with all my blogging buddies.

day 6

2011-08-07T22:00:00.000-07:00

Most treasured item

Other than my family, because I figure this statement means a object : my pictures, each one captured a precious moment in time, I adore them.

day 5

2011-08-06T22:51:00.000-07:00

Favorite quote :

If you think my hands are full you should see my heart

Life with three boys, all of who have medical issues, this quote fits so perfectly.

day 4

2011-08-05T22:00:00.000-07:00

Favorite book:
Hands down : Nicholas sparks Suzanne's diary to Nicholas, wonderful wonderful wonderful, love this book so much!

day 3

2011-08-04T22:00:00.000-07:00

Favorite TV show

I don't watch alot of TV, actually we have canceled our cable and only use Netflix, one show I do miss is army wives, Netflix has it but not the current episodes. I also love the oldies:I love Lucy, Roseann,family matters, facts of life, mystery diagnosis etc.

day 2

2011-08-03T21:37:00.000-07:00

Favorite movie

For the past few years its been fools rush in, I think its a beautiful funny, sweet movie. I love it. A really close runner up would be mad love, another beautiful love story. Though I rarely watch love movies and find horror/thriller more my speed these two are my favorites to watch anytime

day 1

2011-08-02T21:18:00.000-07:00

Favorite song,

This is a hard one, I LOVE music! Lets see I love country music, Christian music and some alternative music.

Ill list a few current favorites

Hanging by a moment :lifehouse

If we are the body:castingcrowns
The voice of truth :castingcrowns
Lifesong:castingcrowns

If I die young:the band Perry
dirt road anthem :????

30 days about me

2011-08-01T22:15:00.000-07:00

Stolen from a friends blog. Decided this would be a great way to share a bit about me here's the run down of what the posts will look like, ill try to keep up with these.

Day 1-Favorite Song
Day 2-Favorite Movie
Day 3-Favorite Television Show
Day 4-Favorite Book
Day 5-Favorite Quote
Day 6-Most Treasured Item
Day 7-A Photo That Makes You Happy
Day 8-Something You Hate
Day 9-Something That Makes Your Life Easier
Day 10-A Photo Taken Over 10 Years Ago of You & A Current One
Day 11-Favorite Band/Artist
Day 12-Something you are OCD about
Day 13-Something or Someone that has had a huge impact on your lif
Day 14-Somewhere You’d Love to Travel
Day 15-Describe Your Dream Home or show us a picture
Day 16-Who Do You Do the Most Crazy Things With
Day 17-Your Biggest Insecurity & Something About Yourself You Are proud of
Day 18-Wedding Talk (share stories, photos, both, anything having to one you had or the one you dream of)
Day 19-A talent/hobby of yours
Day 20-Something you wished you could forget
Day 21-A recipe you love
Day 22-Some of Your Favorite Websites
Day 23-Something you love to watch on youtube
Day 24-Where You Live? Tell us or show us about where you live.
Day 25-Who is/are your best friends?
Day 26-Favorite clothing store.
Day 27-Worst Habit
Day 28-What’s in Your purse, backpack or computer bag?
Day 29-Who Has gotten you through the most?
Day 30-A dream for the future beyond the next year…think long term

rough draft for 2011-2012 school year

2011-07-27T02:22:00.000-07:00

First 6 weeks:
Countries and crafts with countries
~Sweden
~Germany
~Egypt
~Bahamas
~Canada
~Italy
~australia
~India
~Russia
~France
~uk
~USA

Health~ work on character building, respect, feelings

study each country, spelling words about country, craft,history,library books, YouTube videos, chance can draw photos each week of countries, micheal can write small report on them. This should take up first 6 weeks if school lessons in spelling, grammar,history, geography. Do first country on Monday and Tuesday, second country on wednesday and Thursday, Friday will be catch up day. Field trips for first 6 weeks could include museums,zoos

Second 6 weeks concentrate on community workers
~police officers
~fire fighters
~mail man
~doctor
~military

Health~ make drawings of body, hands, feet, lable parts Library books, work sheets, crafts, spelling words, chance can draw pictures and micheql write a small paper on each. Field trips , post office, fire house, police station, doctor office, museum on post, YouTube videos
3rd 6 weeks Work on famous people, inventors, leaders, artists

health~ discuss body functions, reasons, illnesses, diseases

4th 6 weeks Work on gemstones, minerals, rocks, learn differences,

Health~ brain functions, what happens to cause brain damage, how it affects the brain, treatment

5th 6 weeks Work on means of transportation, bikes, cars, trains, planes, boats, history of hem, types etc.

Each 6 weeks, papers/reports should be written, crafts, research, field trips, art work, should be done, typing skills should be practiced once a week for chance and twice a week for Mikey, click n spell, once a week, math should be practiced twice a week and science once a week other than health with a science experiement at least once every 2 weeks.practice life skills twice a week, etc. Laundry, cooking, cleaning, bathing, menu planning . Work with zach with identifying objects, people, pictures, colors. Read to him daily. Work on getting him to talk, make requests, draw/color
Health~work on bones, muscles, how they work, why we need them, problems that can occur
Each 6 weeks, papers/reports should be written, crafts, research, field trips, art work, should be done, typing skills should be practiced once a week for chance and twice a week for Mikey, click n spell, once a week, math should be practiced twice a week and science once a week other than health with a science experiement at least once every 2 weeks.practice life skills twice a week, etc. Laundry, cooking, cleaning, bathing, menu planning . Work with zach with identifying objects, people, pictures, colors. Read to him daily. Work on getting him to talk, make requests, draw/color

whoop whoop!

2011-07-13T01:39:00.000-07:00

Its been a few days since I stepped on a scale, and today I decided to give it a whirl, well I'm down 3-4 more pounds! That makes right at 20lbs gone since march-ish timeframe! Happy dance!

More good news for our household, Harold got a call back about a possible job, they are flying him to Oklahoma next week for training, sounds good, crossing fingers! He is also attending a job fair today and has been following up on other leads. Things are looking up.:)

stepping into the light

2011-07-11T22:10:00.000-07:00

Since I'm putting negative things, and negative people behind me, its time to get my head back into the mindset I'd rather be in, time to use my energy in positive things.

In December and January timeframe I had spoke about doing weight loss surgery, well I didn't. Not saying I wont ever, but right now isn't the time, I'm not doing any crash diets, but small gradual changes in food preparation, meal planning, portion sizes, being mindful of what goes into my body. Now its not a huge loss like I would have seen with surgery but since March timeframe I've lost about 17lbs. I'm happy, I'm content knowing I am getting healthier. My next goals are to get more active and to work on my water intake. Small changes seem to work better for me so I'm staying with what works.

My mood has been better with my boys, we still have bad days but were dealing with meltdowns and getting thru them. They are still doing school, though we have been on a 2 week break. I'm met with more willingness and less resistance, I love it!

I'm slowly working on better menu planning, more homemade food, more bulk cooking, purging things from our home and keeping only what we need and use, and finding contentment with simpler things. I feel wonderful and plan to continue. I hope to be paying off debt in a big way soon and living debt free. Life is about more than what you have, wear, or drive, I don't need these things to feel good about myself. Also working on lowering bills, and conserving energy, protecting earth one kilowatt and 1 can recycled at a time. Yes I admit it, I'm a tree hugging hippy, and if you call me that ill take it as a compliment.

Peace-love-and stress less

life goes on

2011-07-10T19:35:00.000-07:00

So I've had many trying moments with a certian person in my life, a person I thought was a true friend, a shoulder, a sister. I suppose I was wrong, I suppose unless I put her on a pedastal, and am at her side every time she needs that I'm just not a good enough friend for her to waste her time with. I'm at a place that I'm okay with that, I'm okay with not trying to jump thru hoops, not feeling guilty, not getting emotionally drained, I'm at a point that its okay to have her as an acquaintance and nothing more. It is a relief actually I suppose because I was so emotionally wrapped up in pleasing her and wanting to be friends, I feel a weight lifted and feel a new sense of renewal and a more optimistic outlook on life. I guess its true, life goes on...

Thank you to a very special friend for helping me realize its not worth my energy and my life will be brighter. I'm blessed to have the wonderful beautiful friends in my life. She is a ray of sunshine, and I get to spend 40-60hours a week with her. Blessed beyond measures.

My advice to you today, if there is something or someone in your life holding a negative impact on you.....let it/them go.spread your wings and fly away.

thoughts

2011-06-27T22:21:00.000-07:00

Trying to get back into the blog world, sometimes its just hard to find a spare moment to collect my thoughts. Tonight's post will probably be a bit here and a bit there.

In March we were blessed to have a night nurse who had been with us about a year come on working full time in the daytime for zach, not only is she amazing with zach, but its been so benifical to me as well. She has become Luke a member of the family, a sister. We have so much in common and enjoy our days together, last week she worked 60 hours, including a night shift that was basically a slumber party. It's been so long since I had such a close friend, she reminded me that friendship isn't suppose to be a one way street, and people who are your true friends shouldnt get all bent out of shape so easily, and if they do, they should try to work it out. Anyway I can't say enough good things about Anna, we shop, do projects, cook, do makeup and nails together, like the sister I never had.

Since April I've lost about 15lbs, not an enormous amount but the fact that I haven't gained any back is rewarding. So day by day I'm working on being healthier and happier. Eliminating negativity and trying to reduce stress. Life is stressful enough and throw in special needs kids and it can get crazy. I need my head in the game for sure.

Homeschooling is going great! We aren't doing work every day but rather a few times a week thru the summer, Micheal is making much progress, his handwriting and attention to details is better, math is finally sticking, and he is doing a super job trying. He is working right at grade level for the most part. Chance is also working hard, though he should only be at kindergarten level until fall he is working on 3rd and 4th grade level, his reading and math are his strongest areas, I'm so proud of my boys. We have our hard days but I wouldn't change a thing, leaving the school system was the best thing we did. I love spending my days with them, I love that they learn so many life skills along the way every day. I love that ordinary errands can bring up a whole lesson plan and new learning experienced. I also love that they aren't subjected to ridicule and bullying no peer pressure and they learn to socialize with people of all ages, not just kids in their class.

Next month we go back to Houston to have a vq scan for zach to check his lungs and check for any thoracic dystrophy, after this we should have a plan for surgery to correct the scoliosis, any surgery is scary for zach so I'm just so thankful they are being so cautious with him. I was reading thru his medical file and came across these words, cortical atrophy, hypoxia, HIE, sometimes I hate medical terms, the words I would use would be amazing. Miracle, strong, fighter.

My brain is blank, time for bed got 3 speech therapies tomorrow. Night

lots to update

2011-06-22T23:36:00.000-07:00

Oh so much time has passed, so much to catch up on. These days I feel like were always rushing, always going, always non stop. Lots of changes have and will be going on here. Lets get down and dig into this already.....

Boys both had parties at chuck e cheese, hard to believe Mikey is 9 and chance is 6! Gosh they are growing so much! Mikey is now 4 ft 3 inches, 61lbs, chance is 4ft 1.5in and 56lbs, so as you see pretty much the same size. :) they are enjoying summer with lots of pool time, we are still doing school time, not daily but atleast 2 times a week. Chance is now reading stage 2 books, both boys are excelling in multiplication and making me very proud.

In addition to occupational therapy 1 time a week, Mikey and chance are both in speech therapy weekly. Luckily they share the same day with zach for speech therapy, so we only drive there 1 time a week.both boys see the psychologist monthly and the developmentalist every 3 months.

zach is doing well, he has his ocupational therapy 2x week, physical therapy 2xweek, speech 1x week,monthly to the psychologist, and every 3 months to the developmentalist. in some areas he seems to be making huge strides and in others we seem to be at the same spot we have been for months. zachy now weighs in at a hefty 37lbs, he is doing well with tolerating his bolus feeds and ive been adding at least 1-2 meals daily of a "blended" diet with juices, babyfood, yogarts, etc. i think this has also been a helping hand for him. zach has developed some new sounds, still non verbal for the most part, but he makes lots of vocal sounds, some days for speech therapy he does really well at imitating sounds and some days she isnt able to get zach to focus even on her. zach at least 30-40% of the time is in his own world, he is happy and content doing as he pleases (walking from room to room, looking for water to play in, banging on furniture, and licking baby wipe containers) he has a few toys, the ones that play music and light up that he enjoys and thats really all he likes. unless he is sick or sleepy he doesnt want to be cuddled, or held, he wants to go go go. he LOVES the water, that boy is such a water baby, he just loves it so much, even water on tv makes him smile and laugh. its adorable! we have gone back to houston for zachs scoliosis and are waiting until our next echo in july to see what and when they want to do, its looking more and more like titanium rib surgery, at texas childrens in houston. im still waiting on a report from the pulmonary doc there, and waiting for him to talk to the spine doc and surgeon there to figure out what the best option is.

our nursing changed, we are in HEAVEN with the nurse who is doing our primary hours, she works 40-60 hours a week and is such a sweetheart. close to our age, fun to be with, really works with zach, and so kind. we are so lucky!!

recently my brother in law decided to move to killeen, so as you guessed this is a big change and a big curve ball, he actually has a job lined up and will start july 11th, not much i can do about it, still not ready to just smile and go with it though. really just hoping we arent bogged down with them, their kids, or drama, we have enough going on here that i can barely think straight most days as it is.

Harold is ETSing from the army, in just days, gulp thats a huge change, he has been in for 11 years and now its over. im excited, im nervous, im anxious, im all over the place. the company he was trying to get hired on with is having a hiring freeze at the moment and thats another curve ball. however he is looking into other options and about to attend a 2 day job fair thing in houston with a bunch of fortune 500 companies that are looking for ex military to fill slots, it was a big opprotunity for him to be given and so we got him a suit and such clothes that he needs to have to go. time to dress the part and go out on a whim. we want to stay here, stay where our care is all set up, but we will have to see.

yea im sure there is more to update but my brain is mush....night all

tax monies

2011-02-18T23:01:00.000-08:00

yup its that time of year, and im uber excited!!

this tax time we are going to pay off ALL our credit cards, yea!!!! were also going to put some into savings as a cushion since dh is getting into the civillian world. im planning on purchasing some soaps, vitamins, and toothpastes from vitacost for a year supply (did this last tax time too) and starting a garden! yup a garden from mainly seeds, in containers mainly. im looking at getting herloim seeds, non of that genetically motified crap!

i cant tell you how excited i am for all of the above things! to be debt free other than our house and car payments and normal monthly bills!! (recently cut out cable down by $30 and our internet by $20!)

to be able to save money by growing our own food...thats super cool, healthy and thrifty! im digging it:) (pun intended)

master cleanse

2011-02-17T22:57:00.000-08:00

okay well i bought 30 lemons....yup 30 friggen lemons. thats about 5 days worth for the master cleanse diet, im hoping to start this before the weekend, im ready to detox and feel better, have more energy and possibly loose some weight. id love to do the diet for 30days but i dont want to commit just yet, i know i posted about the cinch diet, well i stopped after 2 days, returned book and lost 12bucks on it when i sold it back to the store, boo. soooo i dont want to commit a full month, but id like to.

im also planning on purchasing some vitamin b12 and getting some more energy, i may even do the shots again, im not sure. stay tuned for information and updates on the cleanse....

stress

2011-02-16T05:50:00.000-08:00

soooo the davis household has been under a bit of stress, between dh getting his allergy testing, his sleep study, and tons of blood drawn for various tests, then getting zach to all his special appointments, getting new braces for his feet, getting the boys to their therapies and development appointments, and just trying to get thru the day with not a single friend asking if things are okay or saying hi, or wanting to hang out (see last post) i just feel alone at times. sometimes i cant fit in anywhere, not with special needs moms, not with stay at home moms, not with military moms, not with homeschooling moms or natural living moms, i cant just be "one" of those, im all of them and because of that i feel left out of groups, left behind from friends.blah.

waiting on answers from all of dh's tests. hopefully we will hear something soon. dh is also getting out of the army, he has been in 11 years, and its a bit of a shell shock to say the least, so thats more stress added. im just kinda unwinding here, im sure im the only one who reads it anyway. :)

my give a damns busted

2011-02-15T22:40:00.001-08:00

okay warning here, if you dont want to hear some bitching, dont read.....there i warned you.

well ive been thinking alot and feeling rejected, thats not a good combo.

i have 3 IRL friends that im feeling rather rejected from, for instance, even after i tell them something they "know nothing" , and will totally forget what i said or asked, this has happend several times. or, on facebook one will ask for suggestions or ideas on something, ill suggest something and get totally blown off, but if someone else mentions the same damn thing suddenly she thinks its great, i mean really WTF? im not a stupid person, and typically any suggestions i have are tried and true, i dont get it. and that in itself isnt everything. i send messages to my friends, via text, or facebook or whatever and get zip responce.....i mean really its too hard to fucking respond? sometimes its just a "hope you have a good day" they cant type a "you too" so i guess that means they dont give a fuck?? and if they dont why should i? why should i put myself out there over and over?

oh but have no fear, if they need/want something i get texts and emails galore....to that i wanna say fuck off, but i try to be the good friend. really i do. i try to go out of my way to pick them up stuff if they need, to mail them things, to remember their birthdays and important days, to let them know im here, and i get squat! i swear sometimes i love my online friends so much more. i just dont get it. maybe the IRL friends are busy? maybe they are at the stage where its kinda like being taken for granted? i dunno. i guess it shouldnt bother me so much, but it does. rejection is never a easy thing.

i mean come on people, if your my friend its because i value you, i love you does it really hurt to spend a minute or two once a week or every other week to simply say hi and ask how things are going?

sleep study

2011-02-04T19:46:00.000-08:00

its a friday night, im alone....booo. dh is at the VA hospital doing his sleep study to check for sleep apnea. im not sure how long it will take before we get the results.
dh has to go to the doc 3 times next week, for his allergy issues and his hives and itching. its been going on for a few months now, its really overdue to be done with now. he has had vile after vile of blood drawn, tests ran, 4 different medications, etc. doc said last week his allergy test was OFF the charts, soo next week he gets to get the thousand jabs into his back to see WHAT he is allergic to. hopefully he gets some sort of answer, and an easy fix.
its got to be driving him crazy feeling like his skin is crawling, he ends up with welts all over himself. just no fun

Big boy is 6!

2011-02-04T19:37:00.000-08:00

my firecracker, my little ball of energy, my chancey-poo is now 6! goodness where did the time go? i love you chance! in this last year you have basically taught yourself to read, your a master at math, you are super smart, so amazing. your such a cuddle bug when you want to be and your making great strides in therapy, you have even gottan on a swing!! your love the small rock wall/fort at therapy and love jumping into the foam pit! im so proud of you birthday boy!

we were hoping to have his party this weekend, tomorrow actually, but due to some conflicts of schedule, we will be celebrating the 12th hopefully in a heated pool with some friends, i think it will be a blast. he is such a water baby. :)he has requested a transformer birthday cake and now im hunting down ideas to make the best transformer cake eva!!

the positive side

2011-01-25T17:41:00.000-08:00

the positive side of having a kid with disabilities....

knowing that every time you look at them your looking at a miracle

seeing innocence in their eyes

learning every day is a new chance to learn that one task that he has been practicing for a month

being able to enjoy the small milestones in a big way

getting to enjoy the "baby stage" much longer than most people

getting to meet wonderful people, nurses, doctors, therapists, staff that you wouldnt normally get to know

having a blue tag that hangs on the rear view mirror that entitles you to park close to the hospital or therapy office that you visit multiple times a month.

getting to meet lots of other families in similar situations.

food as medicen

2011-01-25T14:52:00.000-08:00

i love the idea that food can be our medicen. here is a little information on a bit of food as medicen.

GARLIC:
botanically known as Allium Sativum, is used for reducing high blood pressure, preventing age-related vascular changes, reducing reinfarction and mortality post-MI, decreasing LDL (bad) and VLDL cholesterol, and increasing HDL (good) cholesterol for coronary heart disease.

Garlic is also used in Chinese medicine for diarrhea, amoebic and bacterial dysentery, tuberculosis, bloody urine, diphtheria, whooping cough, scalp ringworm, hypersensitive teeth and vaginal trichomoniasis.

garlic has had many other uses as well, including the treatment of colds and flu, fever, cough, headache,ear infections, stomach ache, sinus congestion, athlete’s foot, gout, rheumatism, hemorrhoids, asthma, bronchitis, shortness of breath,low blood pressure, hypoglycemia, hyperglycemia, cancer.

ONIONS:
Onions have a variety of medicinal effects. Early American settlers used wild onions to treat colds, coughs, and asthma, and to repel insects. In Chinese medicine, onions have been used to treat angina, coughs, bacterial infections, and breathing problems.

The World Health Organization (WHO) supports the use of onions for the treatment of poor appetite and to prevent atherosclerosis. In addition, onion extracts are recognized by WHO for providing relief in the treatment of coughs and colds, asthma and bronchitis. Onions are known to decrease bronchial spasms. An onion extract was found to decrease allergy-induced bronchial constriction in asthma patients.

Onions are a very rich source of fructo-oligosaccharides. These oligomers stimulate the growth of healthy bifidobacteria and suppress the growth of potentially harmful bacteria in the colon. In addition, they can reduce the risk of tumors developing in the colon.

ALOE VERA:

Diabetes Prevention: After undergoing research, aloe extract has been proven to decrease blood glucose levels. Research claims that aloe can prevent or at least slow down the development of diabetes. Medications given to diabetics also contain significant amounts of aloe. The plant is clearly the herbalist's method to control the deadly disease.

Aids in Healthy Digestion: A healthy digestive tract ensures that nutrients from the foods we eat are absorbed into the blood stream. Aloe Vera Juice has natural, detoxifying abilities. Drinking Aloe Vera Juice made from the pure aloe gel regularly may improve bowel regularity and increase protein absorption, while at the same time decrease unfriendly bacteria and yeast.

Immune Support and Function: Aloe Vera juice provides natural support for the immune system. Since the immune system works around the clock protecting the body, aloe vera, with its natural immune enhancers, gives the body a continual arsenal from which to draw.

Regulates Weight and Energy Levels: Aloe Vera Gel naturally, and with regular use, allows the body to cleanse the digestive system. Our diets include many unwanted substances which can cause lethargy and exhaustion. Taken regularly, Aloe Vera Juice from the pure aloe gel ensures a greater feeling of well-being, allowing energy levels to increase and helping to maintain a healthy body weight.

Dental Health and Hygiene: Aloe Vera juice is extremely healthful for your mouth and gums. Because aloe vera is safe to be taken internally, it can be used to treat injuries that occurred on soft tissue, such as mouth ulcers, canker sores, fever blisters and other lesions. It has also been used effectively to treat bleeding gums and to soothe pain and discomfort after oral surgery or extensive dental treatment.

CINNAMON:

Effective against Diabetes: A study revealed that cinnamon may help people with type 2 diabetes by increasing their insulin sensitivity, thus moderately lowering their blood sugar levels. A study published in the journal Diabetes Care in 2003 found that people with type 2 diabetes taking 1, 3, or 6 grams of cinnamon in pill form daily (equivalent to one quarter of a teaspoon to 1 teaspoon of cinnamon) reported a reduction in fasting blood glucose by 18 to 29%, triglycerides by 23 to 30%, LDL cholesterol by 7 to 27%, and total cholesterol by 12 to 26%. However, studies so far have involved only a small amount of people and have not yet explored the long term benefits of cinnamon. So, a large scale study is needed to support cinnamon as a major player against type 2 diabetes. To include cinnamon in your diet, just sprinkle it over your coffee, cereal, and tea. As a precautionary measure, people taking any medication that affects blood glucose or insulin levels shouldn't take therapeutic doses of cinnamon unless they're under a doctor's supervision.

Fights Cancer: A study released by researchers at the U.S. Department of Agriculture in Maryland showed that cinnamon reduced the propagation of leukemia and lymphoma cancer cells. According to researchers, cinnamon appears to inhibit the actions of certain phosphatases, which are enzymes that play a key role in facilitating mitosis (cell division). Also, cinnamon is a very good source of calcium and fiber, which can bind to bile salts and help remove them from the body. By eradicating bile, fiber helps to prevent the damage that certain bile salts can cause to colon cells, thus reducing the risk of colon cancer.

Reduces cholesterol: The fiber and calcium in cinnamon can help remove bile salts from the body. When bile is removed, the body must break down cholesterol in order to make new bile. This process can help to lower high cholesterol levels. According to a 2003 study on 60 people, a daily intake of one-half teaspoon (1 gram) of cassia cinnamon not only lowered blood sugar levels in type 2 diabetics, it also significantly lowered LDL ("bad" cholesterol) and triglyceride levels. However, more large scale studies are needed to determine how effective cinnamon would be in lowering cholesterol, which type of cinnamon to use, and the amount needed to lower cholesterol levels.

Boost brain function: Studies have shown that smelling cinnamon may boost cognitive function, memory function, performance of certain tasks and increases one's alertness and concentration. According to a research led by Dr. P. Zoladz, chewing cinnamon flavored gum or just smelling cinnamon enhanced study participants' cognitive processing. Specifically, cinnamon improved participants' scores on tasks related to attentional processes, working memory, virtual recognition memory, and visual-motor speed while working on a computer-based program.

Beneficial for stomach: Cinnamon is a great source of fiber and can help relieve constipation as well as irritable bowel syndrome. By having a healthy digestive tract, colon diseases can possibly be prevented. Problems of diarrhea and flatulence can easily be solved by including cinnamon in the regular diet.

Fights Arthritis: The difficulty of arthritis can also be solved by adding cinnamon to your diet everyday, thanks to cinnamon's powerful anti-inflammatory properties. A study at Copenhagen University found that patients who were given half a teaspoon of cinnamon powder combined with one tablespoon of honey every morning before breakfast reported a significant relief in arthritis pain after one week.

Improves blood circulation: Cinnamon contains a significant amount of a compound called coumarin, a well known "blood thinner" (anticoagulant). This aids in the circulation of blood and help to prevent blood clots. However, people who have been prescribed blood-thinning medications or people with bleeding disorders shouldn't take cinnamon.

Re-energiser: Feeling of worn out and tiredness can be removed by having cinnamon. It improves energy, gives people more vitality and improves blood circulation. Also, because of its warming qualities, cinnamon has been particularly useful for people who tend to feel hot in their upper body but have cold feet. It has also been used to provide relief when faced with the onset of a cold or flu, especially when mixed in a tea with some fresh ginger.

Anti-microbial: Preliminary lab and animal studies have found that cinnamon may have antibacterial and antifungal properties. In laboratory tests, growth of yeasts that were resistant to the commonly used anti-fungal medication fluconazole was often (though not always) stopped by cinnamon extracts. It's active against Candida albicans, the fungus that causes yeast infections and thrush, and Helicobacter pylori, the bacteria responsible for stomach ulcers.

Dental care: Using a mixture of honey and powdered cinnamon is an excellent mouth wash and helps to keep one's breath fresh throughout the day. A recent study of the cinnamon-flavored chewing gum found that cinnamon might have breath-odor fighting abilities. Researchers say that the gum contains cinnamic aldehyde, a cinnamon oil, which appears to actually decrease the bacteria in your mouth. In addition, cinnamon is recommended as an effective treatment for toothache in many home remedies.

Especially beneficial for women: Cinnamon has also been found useful for woman's health as it helps in providing relief from menstrual cramping and other feminine discomforts. It is also believed that cinnamon aids in the secretion of breast milk.

Improves immune system: Consuming the blend of cinnamon powder and honey every day not only helps to reinforce the body's natural resistance system, but also protects us from bacterial and viral contagions. Make a glass of lukewarm honey water mixed with cinnamon powder to help boost your immune system during the cold season

shocking evidence

2011-01-21T16:48:00.000-08:00

here is a link

www.fda.gov/downloads/biologicsbloodvaccines/vaccines/approvedproducts/ucm101580.pdf

and on page 11 of this download it clearly states,

adverse events reported during post-approval use of Tripedia vaccine include idiopathic thrombocytopenic purpura , SIDS, anaphylatic reaction, cellulitis, autism, convulsion/grand mal convulsion, encephalopathy,hypotonia, neuropathy, and apnea.

this is adverse reactions to Tetnus and whooping cough vaccine. now im not saying everyone should discontinue vaccines, what i do what though is for people to wake up and realize that YOU are in charge of your childs health, the doctors work for YOU. you have every right to research, ask questions, read information pamplets that come with vaccines, look into the ingredient list. dont be blind to the issues out there.

Cinch diet

2011-01-20T21:08:00.000-08:00

okay im taking the plunge into the cinch diet, i bought all the items i needed for the five day fast forward into the diet, spinach, raspberries, alomonds, eggs, plain non fat yogurt and almond butter. for the next 5 days other than sugar and salt free seasoning, what i listed above is the only things i will eat. no sodas, no artificial sweetners period. reviews show a lossage of up to 8 pounds in 5 days. lets rock it!!

for breakfast i will have a
scrambled egg with spinach; raspberries and almonds. 2 cups water.

meal 2: yogurt parfait with raspberries and almonds. 2 cups water.

Meal 3: spinach salad with raspberries, almonds, boiled egg. 2 cups of water.

Meal 4: smoothie with yogurt, raspberries, almond butter, ice. 2 cups water.

so long, goodbye, adios

2011-01-20T20:38:00.000-08:00

with techno advancements, lots of things are becoming obsolute, for instance, newspapers, many people can read these online now, so no need for the paper copy. we decided to do away with cable, i wanted to completely be done with it, dh is a wee bit hesitant so as a middle ground, were keeping the local basic channels for a bit and then hopefully saying goodby to those too! i took our cable box to the cable office today.....goodbye. we have netflix (LOVE IT) and can see soooo many of our shows on it, it makes cable un-needed. see the above picture of our entertainment center, the blank spot is where the cable box was.

sure steps

2011-01-19T21:02:00.000-08:00

well zach had a new fitting today for a new set of braces for his feet, he had his last ones done in may?? and finally had a growth spurt, so it was time. the ones this time required no casting, instead there were multiple sets of measurements taken, apparently the typical foot is symmetrical, luckily the guy measured both zach's just to see....sure enough the left foot is wider than the right, the right is longer than the left and there were other small differences when he measured the ankle area and so forth, zach completely thru the guy off his game today, he just couldnt believe that there were so many areas that werent symmetrical. ....leave it to zach. :) he also said that zach's right foot seemed to show more spastic tendancies, so hopefully the new braces will help with those as well. here is a website about the braces, zach's will be the jungle theme with red velcro straps, so cute:)http://www.surestep.net/smo.php

we also saw the ENT today, i was worried since zach has been punching the tar out of his ears, turns out BOTH ear tubes have come out, the one from our visit to the pedi last week and the one in his right ear today was no longer where it should be, so it will be falling out soon. good news is, ears look great, doc looked in zach's mouth to to make sure strep was gone, he said it was and that his tonsils are VERY swollen, said that on a scale of 1-4 zach's were a 3+ were suppose to keep an eye on it but i have a feeling this is whats causing the snoring, the dip in oxygen while he sleeps, etc. he said he doesnt take them out of kids under 3 but since zach is now 3 its most definatly a possibility.

"i didnt" monday

2011-01-17T04:15:00.000-08:00

I didnt not sleep last night

I didn't decide catching up on desperate housewives on Netflix was more important

I didn't play on my phone and find a ton of new blogs to follow

I didn't ask dh to run to Starbucks when they opened at 5am and consequently he didn't refuse to go......maybe ill get some yummy mocha frap. Later:)

target's big clearance

2011-01-16T13:57:00.000-08:00

i keep hearing the hype! im really hoping to see the hype with my own eyes as well! toys are suppose to go to 75% off, WOW!! so far i was able to find one deal, found the boys some reversable sleeping bags for 75% off, cant beat $6.25 for a sleeping bag.

they love them:)

field time

2011-01-15T11:18:00.000-08:00

well harold is preparing for the field, poor guy he is gonna FREEZE out there as they have NO heaters to take with them....i swear this unit is a piece of sh#t! so this means for now he is working extra hours, trying to get things ready to go to the field, he will be gone 10-11 days and then we have the "recovery" time when he gets back but then he should be preparing for his seperation from the army....its becoming more and more real. i think he is really gonna do it. we have spent some time online looking at goverment jobs, and he has been talking alot about it. shortly after the new year he found out he has come down on orders to go recruiting, if he decided to do this, he would re-up, no bonus, go to school in march for 6 weeks and report to who knows where in june i think....so now the thought of "if i decide to stay in i can reclass and get this bonus" business, is kinda blown out the window. to top it off, he isnt having any luck trying to get this deleted, so his option is to sign the DEX statement, saying that he refuses to go recruiting and he is getting out, and i believe they need that done by feb 1, to top that off part of jan he is spending in the field, so needless to say he is slightly stressed.
he goes after he gets home from the field to the VA hospital and have his sleep study to rule out sleep apnea , and we have chance's birthday party im trying to plan for....busy? just a little.

christmas glimps 2

2011-01-14T11:55:00.000-08:00

overdue glimps of christmas

2011-01-14T07:00:00.000-08:00

a small glimps of our christmas season, driving thru the christmas lights, zach even drove.

global warming my ass!

2011-01-13T00:52:00.000-08:00

oh my! its freaking an iceburg here in texas, what is up with that? i thought we were under a global warming......me thinks thats some bull. whatever. im cold. end of story. the vehicles sooo dont like the cold weather either, had to get a new battery for the car, but it was well overdue...had the other battery on the car since we bought it, 8 years ago. ....if only all batteries lasted like that one! sniff sniff. my van has been dying too, i think its jealous and wants a new battery too, but HELLO, its only 3 years old. lol.

weve had a pretty busy week, mikey went to the psych, for his monthly visit, went over some social skills and talked about litteral speaking and trying to get him to understand sarcasm and stuff. tuesday mikey got his bracket off, his reward?? GUM! it was about the only thing he had really missed for the last 6 months. im sure the dentist will talk about braces soon, but for now im just happy to have his mouth appliance free! again someone had to get jealous that the attention was on mikey and his mouth, so low and behold, zach has chipped a front tooth. sigh. im 99.9% its from grinding his teeth, he hasnt fallen where he would have hit his face or anything so thats all i can guess. these boys i swear! so then today we went back to the dentist to have the boys cleanings done and the first time in a very long time, BOTH boys have ZERO cavities!! woot woot! i got them some new toothpaste, both are fluoride free, one is wheat and gluten free, one is gluten free, they both have good tastes and the boys are excited. last year i bought a years worth at once, so they had to finish up the tom's of main that they had, that didnt have fluoride either, and mikey was starting to complain about it so i bought these two brands to test out before i buy another years supply.

i requested some samples from a wonderful baby food company, happybaby, and they graciously sent over some products and coupons, i explained to them that i was using their products for zach's tube feedings because they are organic, have omega-3, probiotics and are enviormentally friendly. they are also recomended by dr. sears. totally awesome.

Tomorrow the boys have therapy, but other than that its a low key day, just what i need, as the house needs some tender loving care and zach has suddenly become ill. :( he was fine today until about 4pm, he spiked a fever of 101.5 and then at 8pm it was 102.5. i almost took him in to the ER but im trying to stay home and not expose him to any extra germies that may make him even sicker, so im giving motrin and sambucas to boost his immune system. hopefully its a 24 hour bug that runs its course and gets outa here as fast as it came! you can clearly see he was sooo not feeling like himself. poor guy.

new years almost here

2010-12-29T20:42:00.000-08:00

I know I've already posted a bit of my new years resolutions, but I'm adding to it. Its a new year, a new start, and I'm uber ready! Ill be 29 in a couple days! Its the start of a healthier life style. Here's my wishes for the new year:

I want to eliminate the few chemical items that are still used in the house, deodorant, carpet cleaner etc. I want all natural products.

I want to start dinning in more, on addition I want to start cooking more from scratch, in addition to that I'd like to grow some of our own foods to be sure its not a GMO product or that it wasn't produced with harsh chemicals.

I want to loose weight! For Christmas I got some tone up shoes, a wii workout game and I'm motivated!

I want to build up our stocked up items, never know when you will need it.

I want to pay off some debt.

Become more organized.

Spend more time with friends!

On a side note were ending this year with yucky colds and ickyness, so I want a healthier next year.

Merry Christmas!

2010-12-25T19:46:00.000-08:00

Can you believe christmas has come? oh my! and now its over....oh but what fun it was. were all a bit wore out here but we had a blast. my parents were down on the 23rd and 24th, we had one christmas with them, and then we had our christmas this morning at 8am, but 845 everything was unwrapped and it appeared as though a tornado had come thru the house. at 10am the inlaws came by with gifts as well. so needless to say after all this, after two big dinners, we are wiped out.

the boys made jack-pot this year, some wii games, some board games, toy story toys, potato heads, legos and chance's favorite, the DQ blizzard maker! of course he would love this the best....its FOOD!! the boys have a new set of pj's and zachy got lots of musical light up toys, we love leapfrog and vtech for him. hubs got some practicle items and some fun ones, some new pants, a new cross chain, watch, and a spa clock radio that he wanted. i got a pair of sketchers tone up sandles, some clothes, a new cd, giftcard to the bookstore . everyone is happy, and healthy, what more can i ask for?

hope everyone had a wonderful safe, healthy and happy holiday!

thoughts for 2011

2010-12-23T23:38:00.000-08:00

Yep, hard to believe its nearly 2011, and I'm thinking of my resolutions, I want some that stick, not just a random wish. Here are what I've decided on in no particular order ...

Weight loss, as I've stated before I'm on the list for surgery, but in addition to this, our diets have gradually changed and I am in process of making more time for me, time to get on the treadmill and wipe the dust off, time to kick it in gear. On a small note I've lost 7lbs in about 6 weeks, this small amount is a HUGE thing for me.

Become a better cook/meal planner, this means everything from mastering new recipes, branching out and trying new foods, and getting more organized. Eating out often like we have isn't healthy for us or the pocket book.

Save more moolah! As stated above, just cutting out a few fast food crap-olla meals could help here greatly.

Be more organized, paperwork gone thru, filed, get rid of junk we don't need, get back to cracking at my planners that I've slipped on lately, find more time in the day/week.

Spend more time with friends, the organization will help with this I believe, when things are less up in the air and more calm I can enjoy myself, enjoy my friends more often.

Overall a healthier happier, less stressed me is what I'm aiming for.

family time

2010-12-22T23:42:00.001-08:00

wahoo! my parents will be here in less than 12 hours to celebrate christmas a bit early, boys are super psyched for this, 1) they get to see their grandparents, 2) they get multiple christmas'. very excited indeed. we got the boys room clean, two words, BOYS SUCK! lol it took forever to get their rooms clean, carpet shampooed, etc. but its done! the rest of the house has been de-cluttered, carpets cleaned, mopped, etc. exhusting, but it looks great! too bad it wont stay this way long, sigh.
tomorrow the boys go to therapy, we have mrs.k's gifts all ready to give her, boys are excited, ive said it before and ill say it again, I LOVE THIS TIME OF YEAR!

Have a wonderful christmas!!

who am i ?

2010-12-18T14:44:00.000-08:00

thanks lori, im stealing your post idea:)

thought i would leave a few thoughts on who i am and if you would leave a comment about who you are!:)

im 28
a stay at home mom to 3 boys
been married to my high school sweetheart for 10 years
im currently an army wife
ive lived in texas, germany, and georgia
i homeschool my kids
i enjoy relazing weekends with the family
i love taking photos, but am horrible at getting the photos off the camera and on the computer
i love sales!
i love coupons too, what a rush to save money!
ive debated several times in my life with being a vegitarian
all my boys have special needs, my youngest is by far the most medically fragile of them all
growing up i wanted to be 3 things, a mom, a teacher, and a nurse (funny how life works out, i get to be all 3)
i love starbucks, a venti mocha frap with no whipcream and an extra shot of expresso will melt my heart!
im working on becoming more self suffiecent, learning new skills, stock pilling, im not a dooms-day type of person but do believe we should be prepared.
i love the color blue!
i follow many many many blogs, probably about 40 in all, they range from being frugal, crafty, making homemade items, special needs, friends blogs, and more. i love them.
i have a hard time making friends, but treasure those that i do have, and heart them:)

okay your turn......

life beyond

2010-12-15T14:38:00.000-08:00

hubs is getting close to the end of his current enlistment in the army, a desicion has to be made, re-enlist and continue, or stop at 10 years in and look for a DOD/civillain/or contract work etc. im pushing for life outside the army, i believe hubs is leaning towards it too. the army has been great in the aspect of insurance and a steady pay check, but the seperations and bs that goes on inside the units is enough to drain anyone.

some of the things we know are a deal breaker are insurance for the kids, with all the medications, supplies and nursing we have for the boys we have to have insurance that will cover this.

of course a good pay check is also very important, from what i gather most counterparts for dh's job in the army, get paid much better on the outside world.

and less seperations, some of the contract and goverment jobs still do deployments (much better pay, and shorter than the army ones) so we know there is a chance he could still have to leave.

things are still all kinds of sideways for us right now, dh is working on his ACAP classes that help prepare him for outside life, job fairs, reseume help, etc.

please send good thoughts that things work out for the best! thanks

judgment

2010-12-14T14:29:00.000-08:00

lets get real for a bit, okay,
are you judged? im sure we all are, i can list a million reasons im sure as to why im judged, does it make them right? no, does it make me right? no, just different views on different subjects.

im a mom to 3 special needs boys, ive heard from some, maybe i should have stopped....but then i wouldnt have my babies, why would that be a good thing?

every time the boys have a episode in public i see the looks, the parents who think im not doing enough, or trying hard enough, those who think the kids are mearly brats and acting out.

because i choose to homeschool, ive been told lots, most negative, i admit it can cause me to second guess myself, to think that i should feel bad for doing something wrong, i try to let it roll off, but it hurts.

because im "crunchy" i get weird looks for being eco friendly, for trying to be safer with our food, comments like "everything is gonna kill us, why bother"

im okay with being different, i dont fit a mold, thats okay with me, my problem comes when i meet someone new, typically i try to stay as much mainstream as possible in our talks, dont mention the boys problems, or that i dont vaccinate, or that i homeschool, but as soon as one of these come up typically the person is no longer interested in talking. hard to make friends, thankfully i have a cyber world of wonderful like minded people.

if you take nothing more than this away from this, please try not to judge someone before knowing them. the world would be boring if we were all the same right???

crunchy?

2010-12-12T14:17:00.000-08:00

eek i have lots of thoughts in my head, always a scary thing for me, trying to become more organized, trying to purge harmful things from our daily life, i spend many hours a week in my natural, organic and simple groups. ive learned alot from them and love my groups. ive decided to make a list of things we are doing to be more "crunchy" and then ill make a list of things we are working towards.

we try to buy our food items in less packaging
we try to buy mainly organic
i make our house cleaners, laundry soap, floor cleaner, mirrors, disinfectant, etc.
i buy "safe" items such as method dish soap and dishwasher tablets, as much as possible
the boys bathe with burts bees
i wash my hair in baking soda and vinegar (and no its not yucky or smelly:))
we dont use paper towels at all, only cloth
we dont use artificial sprays, candles or any other kind of fragrances, i use essensial oil in water to add sent
we try to buy as much as possibly without BPA in it
try to use natural cures to protect our health
no longer doing vaccines
we try in general to think about our health and the enviroments health when we purchase items

id like to do these and am working more towards it

making 90% of meals from scratch at home
using cloth wipes for zach (cant get harold on board with this)
use cloth diapers with zach (again hubs isnt going for it and im not sure they would have any in his size since he is beyond the typical diaper age)
grow a small garden
make more of the things we need at home
learn how to sew
learn how to knit

what are some things you do or would like to do to become more "crunchy" or if you arent interested in being crunchy what are your reasons for this?

more pictures

2010-12-11T18:17:00.000-08:00

Zach got to see superman!

chance busted for eating the gingerbread house!

despite their faces, they WERE excited to see superman!

pictures

2010-12-10T22:13:00.001-08:00

zach finally got a haircut....that was not an easy task, and of course i decided to do it at 1030pm alone cause the hub didnt want to help, since he knew zach didnt like the shearing sound, but we accomplished it! the boys loved seeing santa, even zachy, this was his first year to see santa!!
our house for christmas

christmas party

2010-12-10T21:21:00.001-08:00

Tonight was the special needs network annual Christmas party, this was our first year to attend, it was at the peaceable kingdom. And as everything is at the place it was amazing! The boys saw some super heroes and Santa, they made gingerbread house's, decorated stockings and had a really good time. They each received a gift from Santa and one a outdoor game set, volleyball and some others, very cool. The best part for me was being with people who understand, so many things never needed a word uttered, a simple nod of the head. The kids had a blast with other kids, they were all so nice to each other. I was able to talk with another mom, a lady from Eci, and a lady who helps with the special needs bikes as well. Over all an A+.

Christmas is only 14 days away! Harold goes on leave in 5 more working days! I'm loving it!!

Fruit Chart | Nutrient chart | Vitamins and minerals in common fruits

2010-12-09T19:13:00.000-08:00

Fruit Chart | Nutrient chart | Vitamins and minerals in common fruits

i heart december

2010-12-03T22:04:00.000-08:00

hey all, wow once again its been a while, no excuses time just seems to pass so quickly thru the day and then its bed time. hope everyone had a wonderful holiday and is having a great begining of december! we have our deco up, our tree up, i LOVE christmas, my all time favorite time of year and i tend to get a bit overly into it. :)

for thanksgiving i gave zach some baby food in his formula mixture for his tube feeding, it was a first but there were no bad reactions to it, it flowed a little slower, but nothing major, i have been thinking alot lately about a blended diet for zach where he would recieve more "real" foods, i want to discuss it and learn more with his nutritionist soon.

earlier this week while tube feeding zach he decided to get up and walk away....and when i say walk i mean RUN! couldnt catch him in time, he ended up popping his fully intact button full of water in the balloon out and we had to re-insert it, needless to say that was a first....he is such a wiggle worm now!

Another first for zach was he got to see Santa!! we hadnt done it in the past, either because of a hospital stay or fear of germs, yep im one of those that would bubble up my kid in a bubble if i could to protect him from everything, i know it seems extream sometimes, and im working on being better.but anyway back to santa, he didnt scream or fuss, but wasnt thrilled to be sitting on th ebig dueds lap either, he wanted to get up and run around. it was so awesome to see all the boys up with santa though, they all still believe, i know part of it is the autism, and part of it is the fact that they dont go to public school so they arent hearing other kids burst their bubbles about santa not being real, as long as they choose to believe i will go right on along....

before i end this i have a few prayer requests, one for a sweet baby born recently in a nicu waiting for a surgery to remove fluid from her brain, she also has a eye defect where she will be at least partially blind, she is having heart issues and has a cleft palate, they are waiting for genetic testing, a year ago her mom gave birth to another daughter born with congenital diaphragmatic hernia who lived only 28 days, please pray for peace and understanding for this family, her name is Ellie.

the other prayer request is for a beautiful nearly 3 year old girl named Liviana she was also born with congenital diaphragmatic hernia and survived it! she was doing wonderful until a few months ago she began to get clumsey and having probles walking and playing mom got her in to see aneuro and after a mri of her brain they determined the problem, that was the good news, they have an answer, however its one you never want to hear, its one that isnt cureable. here are the words from her mom's mouth...

"Liviana has been diagnosed with a rare genetic disorder called Leukodystrophy. There are 2 dozen types of LD and we are awaiting tests to determine what type she has. The hard part....LD is not treatable. It is a progressive, degenerative brain disease. She is basically losing the white matter on her brain. I am sure I will talk in more detail about LD later but that is the basics for now."

she says she has showed rapid signs of regressing already. its heartbreaking, if you can please go to their blog and pray for livi, thank you.
http://livianasjourney.blogspot.com/

thank you all so much!

thanksgiving thankfullness

2010-11-24T22:35:00.000-08:00

Its Turkey day! Gobble Gobble! Here are some of the many things I'm thankful for,

My family, they can drive me bonkers at times but I love them!

I'm thankful for our health, its not to be taken for granted, each day is a blessing.

My home! We have shelter from the cold/heat, we have a place to lay our heads.

My friends both online and IRL, y'all are amazing and keep me going on the hard days.

Our wonderful nurses at home and in the clinics and hospitals, the awesome doctors who guide us and help us.

The incredible team of therapists our boys see, they inspire us to keep on going and allow us to see potential.

I hope everyone has a blessed holiday and stays safe if your travel. Happy Thanksgiving day!!

You Might be a Counterculture (hippy) Person if...

2010-11-02T17:13:00.001-07:00

Over at Mamaeve there is a great post called "You Might be a Counterculture "

When you run out of cleaners you don't go to the store you just make some more.

If you wanted to you could eat some (or all) of your personal care products.

You know what a Diva cup, sponge and Lunapad are and have used at least one.

Your medicine cabinet contains things like elderberry juice, aloe vera, honey, homeopathic remedies, a neti pot, and essential oils

You shop more at Etsy.com than the mall.

You understand how homeopathic works and use it

You brush your teeth with baking soda or fluoride free tooth paste

You have a glass/stainless steel straw and/or bamboo cutlery in your purse (or other bag).

You have used baby slings

You delay vaccines or choose not to vaccinate your kids

You wash your hair with baking soda and apple cider vinegar

You don't use paper towels but cloth instead

I'm sure I'm forgetting some...

crazy? yea a little

2010-10-20T21:34:00.000-07:00

october is nearly over.....again im left shaking my head and wondering where the month went. harold has been in field all this week, and should be back tomorrow night or early friday morning, i must say i am looking forward to some help, however small or large it may be. this saturday we are having Zach's birthday party, pokemon theme, im looking forward to it, we have invited therapists, nurses, and of course my bestest friend:) his cake has been ordered, was going to make it, but the guest list just grew a bit much for me and thought it would be better to order one. planning on having finger foods and lots of fun. he's turning 3, holy moly, 3!

i had my seminar tonight for the weightloss surgery, and after listening to the doc and the dietician, if i hadnt changed my mind from lapband to sleeve, prior, i would have changed it tonight. im excited. thats nuts right? to be excited for a surgery? an elective surgery....something i never thought i would do, elect to be put under the knife. thats scary! i must be insane. i just keep thinking about the end results and knowing i will have more energy, better self esteem, healthier. so yea im excited for a surgery, but dont get me wrong im terrified as well. i still have to attend a support group next week, and get a psych eval before i am officially put on the "surgery" list, but from there ive been told it could be weeks, or months, really depends on the deployment schedule for the docs, the number of other surgeries and so forth, but they could call me with only a weeks notice for surgery. eek. at that point i would start my liquid diet immediatly.

still nothing from houston about the new specialist, guess they are still ironing out the specifics for the appointment. maybe soon.

october rush

2010-10-14T20:33:00.000-07:00

holy moly, where has the month gone? its nearly november already! october has been a busy month, ill try to recap.
the boys picked zach's birthday theme, pokemon, lol and we planned out his party, was going to make a cake, but looks like we will have a full house, so we will order a cake. his party will be on the 23rd, so hard to believe he will be 3! he is doing awesome. he has been off oxygen during the day and LOVING it. he is trying to run and doing so well. this morning in therapy we did some mouth work and he tasted about 4 tiny bites of spegetti sauce. wahoo!!
Harold had bronchitis a few weeks ago, we got lucky and everyone else stayed pretty healthy, a few days of coughing and small issues, but it could have been soooo much worse, i credit alot of that to our daily intake of vitamin d. the boys take 2000iu's a day, even zachy, and me and harold take 10000iu's, harold actually stopped taking them, he forgot and then he was on steriods for an allergic reaction to some meds, so that lowered his immune system, and BAM he got sick. sigh.
we had to let our day nurse who had been here for about 2 years go, she was just worn down between school and her night job and was getting ill, cancelling shifts, coming in late, leaving early, etc. so we had a replacement, she had been here about 2 weeks, was caught sleeping twice and then today tells me she has had bronchitis for about 5 days..... um HELLO???!!! really? and your here with my baby boy?? um no....so as of today she has been let go. looks like we may be without a day nurse tomorrow and maybe tuesday, hopefully we will get some new ones in to train and see if they will work.
we went to houston to see zach's original surgeon about his scoliosis, left there with no answers, but we are getting an appointment with the head orthopedics/scoliosis dr there, so maybe soon we will know more. was nice to be able to see a nicu nurse and the milk bank ladies. zach was hamming it up there.
ive had my dietician appointment (finally) seemed like it was taking forever, the appointment went pretty well, ive gained another 1.8lbs. WTH?! so anyway i will attend a seminar next wed, about the surgery options, though im leaning towards the sleeve now, the dietician said she preferred it and i only stopped thinking about it because i didnt think it would be covered by insurance but it is covered if done at the army hospital, so anyway after the seminar and talking with the surgeon i will have a better picture. i have another lab work to do for my iron, and then a psych eval and attend a support group meeting the last wed. of oct, and i will be set to schedule and appointment. im so excited, i know its gonna be a challenge, its a life style change, its forever, but im so ready.
mikey is going to be wolverine for halloween, chance is iron man and zach will be cookie monster, cant wait for that as well. 71 days till christmas!

Hottie With A Body

2010-09-24T23:46:00.000-07:00

Hottie With A Body

9-15

2010-09-15T21:48:00.000-07:00

Its been a long week already and its only Wednesday! Our nurse Tuesday called out and hubs had field time, so he left at 4am and didn't get home till about 6pm, it was a long day, but we made it, took the boys to the park, everyone enjoyed it, zach did lots of walking around, still can't get over how well he is walking! Last week we got some super good news for zman! Our pulmonary doc agreed he could come OFF. Oxygen during the day if his saturation levels stay above 90% his lowest has been about 92-93%! Again I'm just in amazement!

Hubs has had a bit of badluck lately, hurt his foot by falling off a genorator and yesterday in field he dehydrated and needed 3 IV bags....poor Guy. Today seems better though.

I found a co-op group thanks to our fabulous developmental therapist, they are full this semester but I'm planning on joining next semester, they off tons of classes for things such as gardening, grossology....all things gross. Algebra, speech and debate, to events like track, music,soccer etc.

October 13th I will go see the dietician its the next step on my list for upcoming changes. Ready to get it behind me already. Tomorrow we have therapy for all the boys, occupational .. so I better get to bed soon ..........

bumming

2010-09-07T19:27:00.000-07:00

The last couple days we have bummed around the house....a good thing since Were always on the go, you would think, but I've actually put myself in a funk...and our wonderful down pouring rain today didn't help any. Sigh. The boys have been really good and doing school work so well, I can't compain. We have nearly gottan half way thru our life source lessons for the year...gulp you heard me right, guess we will be finding more to continue on with soon.thinking of taking the boys to see Thomas the train, yea a little young for M but C will have a blast and there will be other things for M to do. We will see how things go.

Time to start planning my lil mans 3rd birthday! So hard to believe he will be 3 in just over a month. Its also time to plan the boys Halloween ...figure if I start soon I wont overwhelm myself.

Hopefully getting out tomorrow running errands will help my funk. I need sunshine for sure but the grass needs this rain!

holiday planning

2010-09-02T19:16:00.000-07:00

Time is ticking, Christmas is only 113 days away! You know what that means? Halloween and Thanksgiving are even closer! The past few halloween's haven't been much, 2007 zach was 5 days old having his first surgery, 2008 Harold was in Korea and zach was still really fragile so the boys dressed up and played at home. 2009 we did take the boys on a small outing scavenging for candy. I'd like to have a big celebration this year now whose to say if ill get my wish, I'm looking around for ideas for the boys to go as a theme of some sort.

Now lets talk Thanksgiving we have much to be thankful for, and hopefully by that time I wont be able to consume all those calories (meaning hopefully I'll have had surgery) still looking forward to having the big meal, just will need lots of people to help eat.......haha.

December is my favorite month of the year, I looooooovee it, the spirit the decorations the giving...I can't wait. Santa has been working a lil here and there already, don't planing going overboard this year but we will see if I can contain. My excitement. I love the wrapping, the tree, the smiles and laughter.

Time to start planning if you haven't already!

september!

2010-09-01T21:06:00.000-07:00

wow it seems like it was just march! and now its september....wow is all i can think. we have been back in school for about a week now, so far so good, this year has already started out more information heavy than last, but this year i started homeschooling from the begining, and that makes a difference. the boys spend about 20 min. on each of the following...science, bible lessons, and history in the morning (yes bible lessons are in our school) and then we do an activity or read a book and do some math and english work, the boys also have the spelling program on the computer they still use. im on the hunt for some art things for them, but if nothing else, some finger paint and other objects used to paint with will make for a fun day.
the boys havent had therapy in 2 weeks, their therapist was on vacation....oh how we have missed her! tomorrow they go back...wahoo!!! hoping therapy wears em out and i can accomplish some grocery shopping.
my lab work showed me being anemic...duh im always anemic! but for the upcoming elective surgery im thinking of having, pending approval all around, i need to test not anemic, so im taking my iron pills and hoping that fixes the issue. i will go see my dr in about 3 weeks and retest and hopefully then i will get the approval for the appointment to see the surgeon.

zach has really taken off walking, its awesome to see, he loves it too you can see his pride shining out! its great!! i cant wait for some of his doctors to see him!

back to school

2010-08-23T21:52:00.000-07:00

Well today was loooonnng
Didn't help I didn't go to bed till 430am and woke up at 740....yuck! We had therapy at the temple mall
.zach got to walk around and play on some equipment. After there we went to see the psychologist and to the pharmacy we made it home about lunch time. I spent about 2 hours with boys doing social studied, and creation (science ). Then they did some math and art. Hubs had to work way late, he got in about 930pm....boo. I hate those long nights.

I made the call today to talk to my Dr about the lapband, i think he should be on board with the idea, he mentioned it to me not too long ago, but I hadn't researched it. Yet.

So tomorrow I'm going to go do my lab work for the fainting last week, run by a pharmacy, then were going to work more on science, social studies and some reading, I have a new book I think the boys will love. I'm off to bed....exhausted. night

insomnia sucks

2010-08-23T00:10:00.000-07:00

Well its 210am and why am I up? Kid r all asleep but my brain wont shut off to let me sleep sigh. I've had a pretty low-key weekend, hubs worked most of it, but luckily someone called them on their dumb stuff and like magic they were released at 3 today. Seems they didn't go thru proper channels to have them work the weekend...idiots! I've spent alot of the weekend researching. Guess that's why my brain is still going strong tonight. I researched tons of blogs and articles on homeschooling getting ideas, advice, know how ,did lots of research on healthy meal ideas. And last but not least research for a subject I've thought of on and off awhile, I had kinda written the notion. Off but then a dear friend of mine brought it up as something she is pursuing, I'm going to make an appointment to talk about weightloss surgery...more so lapband. I've searched and searched and read about the bypass that is a bit to radical for me. The gastric sleeve, the one my friend is doing and the band. The later two are the ones I want to know more of. Its always scary going into surgery. But I think this is something I need to consider hard, diets haven't worked I've tried Atkins, southbeavh, alli pills, herbs, citrus and hotsauce diets, gym, I've given up sodas completely for 6 weeks now and no change. Vitamin b shots worked while I was taking the, then I gained it back plus some...something has to give. So I'm gonna embark on a new journey. And hope for the best.

In just a couple hours we will be taking zach to the temple mall for therapy. Letting. Him walk there and then we will head over for his psychologist appointment and pick up his viagra. I need sleep....brain needs to rest.

saturday

2010-08-21T13:19:00.000-07:00

well i started to title this "happy saturday" but quite frankly im not sure it is....its just saturday. hubs is at work, his half day has turned into a whole day. boo. the boys didnt sleep at all last night, they were up the whole freakin night. sigh, can you say cranky? yep for sure. took them to a special needs respite care thing, let them play and have fun and hopefully wear themselves out! i have to leave in a lil bit to get them. the killeen community center is having a big kids day today, for back to school, petting zoo, bounce houses and whatnot, i had planned to take them, but that will depend on if they can handle it, otherwise its an early night for them. woke up super early and trained a new nurse at 7am. ugh...7am on a saturday! eeewwww. zach seems to really like her, he has been showing off all day, he just started today standing up on his own, without pulling on anything and walking...not just in his comfort zone (living room) he is walking everywhere!!! sqqquuueeealll!!! his new favorite place is the bathroom....he loves the bathtub! we closed the door last night and he STILL got in, twice, so i assume he is opening doors now???? and the nurse said he turned his tv on in his room today.....WHEN DID THIS START HAPPENING??? holy moly, everything in zach's time. silly boy.
with the boys being gone for the few hours today i did get to relax a bit,got to go to hobby lobby for things to make a premade scrapbooking layout for a group meeting this coming week, looking forward to attending, we should have a nurse here who doesnt mind if the boys stay with her for a bit, makes things easier:) and ran thru the starbucks drive thru.
well its time to head out and get the boys.

Wooden toys making a comeback!

2010-08-18T13:35:00.000-07:00

we have recently discovered melissa and doug toys and LOVE them. i love that they are durable, long lasting and allow lots of imaginative play! we love the food sets! the holidays are coming up and wouldnt it be great to get a headstart on the gift buying? check out my shop on opensky.com and look for some awesome toys.
the sushi slicing playset is sure to be a big hit!

http://shopopensky.com/shinningthruthenight

confusion

2010-08-07T16:51:00.001-07:00

sometimes you gotta sit back and wonder what the hell, in the end there isnt anything that can be done, doesnt matter if its right or wrong. i know things will work out as they should and all you can do is be positive, negative thinking leads to negative actions, and i refuse. im blessed with a wonderful family, and wonderful friends and supporters online.

on a lighter note were getting ready for school, not the same way as others, but still i have bought the needed supplies and gottan print offs and new workbooks for the boys. found some new cute and easily do-able crafts for the boys for art time, and im happy to say im excited.

Zach is doing well, we wont have results from san antonio for a couple more weeks, but thats okay, again thats something i cant do anything about, but i have trust in the terrific team and know they will have the right solutions for him, very greatful they are doing so much research...whatever they choose will be a custom choice and not a one size fits all. :) gotta love it since NOTHING for zach is one size fits all:)

hard to believe christmas is only a few months away, ive been lucky to find a few really good deals and already gottan some things for the boys:)

working on more organazation here at home, less clutter and maddness, that will reduce the stress and negative thoughts. simple items bring so much joy.

lazy sunday

2010-07-25T15:19:00.000-07:00

yesterday we headed up to stephenville for Harold's aunt's funeral, that place was a madhouse, at least 75 people! can you say YIKES? eesh. glad zachy got to stay back home with the nurse, definatly didnt want him in the heat and in the crowded room with people sniffling everywhere.

today has been kinda a catch up day and a prepare day...preparing for our trip to SA. very excited to get away, not really looking forward to spending the first 2 days in the hospital with the many tests/procedures but at the end of the day, it will be me zachy and his nurse. too bad dad couldnt be there, but we will get some good down time, and the hotel has a POOL!!! guess where we will be at night?? lol
Friday night Harold and the boys will drive up and join us and our nurse will head out, were hoping to hit Sea world with the boys and maybe Morgan's Wonderland for the boys too. excited. :)

curse of july 19th strikes again

2010-07-19T21:24:00.000-07:00

3 years ago july 19th we went in for our routine ultrasound to find out the sex of our lil bundle and walked away with terms like "congenital diaphragmatic hernia" "termination" "50% odds" and more, our lives were turned upside down and we couldnt even see straight.
2 years ago on july 19th Zach had a seizure and was taken by ambulance to the ER where they flew him to the PICU in temple, they determined he had blood on his brain and would soon undergo a surgery to drain the blood from the brain.
last year on july 19th we skipped it...or so i thought, late that night zach started to not act right and had fever, the next day we made an appointment to see his primary doc and was told he had strep and enlarged adnoids.....
This year??? This year on this BLASTED date, we learn that the 1 week class Harold was suppose to be in is now 2 WEEKS, and runs thru the 30th, and there isnt a way out of the class, Zach is suppose to be in san antonio for a long 2 days of tests, xrays, lab work, mri, ct scan and meeting docs about the titanium rib placement....and now Harold CANT go, i was LIVID, freaked out, and more. i HATE this day. next year im removing it from the calendar...end of story. ugh

autism

2010-07-07T23:25:00.000-07:00

The Sensory Challenge (In honor of Occupational Therapists and people with autism) Take the Sensory Challenge. Are you ready? Good. Close your eyes and imagine this: You’re in a room with a group of people. You’re trying to listen to the speaker but there is a buzz in your ears. It’s so loud you wonder if there’s a fly in your head. The lights in the room are continually flickering. You keep blinking to avoid the flashes. Now you have a headache. Open your eyes. How did you feel? What did the speaker say? This is the effect fluorescent lights have on some people with autism You’re watching a puppet show. There are people next to you, in front of you and behind you. The noise level is loud. There are people laughing all around you. One of the puppets has a shrill voice. It echoes in your head and you don’t understand what the puppets are saying. You try and filter out the sound but it’s impossible. You are continually startled as the audience breaks into applause, clapping and cheering wildly for no apparent reason. In desperation you cover your ears and squeeze your eyes shut hoping it will all just go away. Open your eyes. How did you feel? Did you enjoy the show? This is the effect typical noise levels might have on some people with autism. You’re at a BBQ. The sun is hot. The heat makes your skin prickle and the light is blinding. Your friends call you to play ball but there is a haze in front of your eyes. You try and push it away with your hands. Why can’t anybody else see it? The sound of insects is all around. You see them wherever you turn. They’re on the leaves, in the sky and on the grass. You should be eating but you feel nauseated. The air is permeated with the smell of food, drinks, lotion and smoke from the grill. It’s overpowering and all you can do is nibble on some chips. Open your eyes. How did you feel? Did you participate in the BBQ? This is how a summer day event can feel to someone who has autism You enjoy playing basketball but today you have to wear your team clothes. The socks are rough and they hurt your feet. With each step, the seam slides across your toes and it’s awfully painful. You’re on the court and you miss the ball. You didn’t see it because you were trying to reposition your shirt. The label on the inside feels like a jagged piece of paper that constantly grazes your skin. You can’t shoot the ball in the hoop because you’re rooted to the spot. Your shoes are so uncomfortable, you’re afraid to jump in fear of the painful landing that’s bound to happen. Your team is really mad at you. Open your eyes. How did you feel? Did you enjoy the game? This is the effect that some clothing can have on a person with autism. You like eating cereal. It’s crunchy and it tastes good. You like eating yogurt. It’s smooth and creamy. Oh no! Somebody wants you to combine them! They think you should mix it up and eat them together. The very thought of lumpy and smooth swirling around in your mouth makes you physically gag. At your request they leave it separate but still put them on the same plate! How could you possibly eat? You feel physically ill looking at the lumpy and smooth on your plate. It reminds you of… of… Oatmeal! The King of all lumpy, smooth mixtures. Your stomach is churning and you need to throw up. You close your eyes and pray that the plate in front of you will magically disappear. Open your eyes. How did you feel? Did you enjoy your breakfast? This is the effect that some foods can have on a person with autism.
http://www.nlconcepts.com
Toll free: (800) 823-3430 Main: (631) 858-0188 Fax: (631) 858-0061
sales@nlconcepts.com
You’re at the mall. It’s a large wide open space where everything echoes. Your skin begins to tingle. There are sights and sounds everywhere. You don’t know where to look first. Your mind is reeling. You’re afraid and you feel exposed. You long for protection. You want to swaddle yourself in a blanket and pretend you’re in a cocoon. People whiz by. Their footsteps and chatter reverberate in your head. You lose sense of yourself and the space around you. You wonder if your feet are on the floor or if you’ve merged with the mall. In sheer terror, you retreat in the far corners of your mind – a safe place that never fails you. Open your eyes. How did you feel? Was the mall fun? This is the effect busy places might have on people with autism. If you have autism we respect and commend you for dealing so well with situations that can feel unbearable. If you're an occupational therapist, we honor you for the wonderful work you do in helping people with autism deal with sensory challenges.
- By Jene Aviram This article is property of and copyright © 2003-2007 Jene Aviram of Natural Learning Concepts. Reference of this article may only be included in your documentation provided that reference is made to the owner - Jene Aviram and a reference to this site http://www.nlconcepts.com

summer

2010-07-06T16:40:00.000-07:00

wow, im sorry for the delay in updates. things are going pretty well here for now....holds breath. on day 3 post op of zach's adnoids and ear tubes he ran a 101.5 fever, really high for him, and was wheezing. we took him to the weekend clinic, got a new antibiotic and came home. yesterday was his last day on that antibiotic, after about day 4 of the new med he was feeling much better. seems like we dodged the bullet!

we had a nice fourth of july with some great friends, you may remember the posts about "snowflake" or "ladybug", we had a nice night of watching fireworks letting the older kids play and eating some yummy food. "snowflake" who is now more referred to as Julie-bug, is doing well also, she also just had almost identical surgery as Zach, on the 2nd, she also had her tonsils removed, and seems to be a champ!

Zach seems to be resting better, less snoring and mouth breathing, though they said it could take about 6 weeks for that to really stop due to swelling from surgery. seems like Zach is also hearing more, he is more alert to noises and turns to us talking to him some times. YEA!!

Mikey and Chance are getting ready to attend a 3 day summer camp, at a special needs camp (peaceable kingdom) from 8am to about 4pm on the 15th-17th, they went back in may for a 1 day camp and seemed to enjoy it, so hoping this time they still enjoy it. we go in a couple days to register and pick up their tshirts and turn their meds in for the camp.

last week mikey also became the proud owner of his pallet spacer, a big hunk of metal under the roof of his mouth conected to his teeth that we turn with a "key" 2 times a day to expand his upper jaw. he will be in this for about 6 months.
i will try to do better at updating hope everyone had a safe 4th of july!

summer=water

2010-06-11T23:24:00.000-07:00

growing up that was always my motto, when i was able to get in the pool and enjoy the sun and water, that ment it was summer....so in that case today was the first day of summer....in a few years for me. lol. i took the boys on post to a pool to check it out, i had a good time, the boys enjoyed as well. chance started the pool time off by hanging on my neck, he is such a loving boy but man is it annoying to have him hanging on me always. tsk, i shouldnt say that...i love it, sometimes. but new situations always make him nervous, so the pool being a semi new thing for him was one of these senerios. but we swam for a couple hours, discovered many hours later that i didnt apply enough sunscreen for any of us, sigh.

i got good news last night, finally got a email from san antonio, we have our evaluation on july 29 and 30th, we will need to arrive and check in at 7 am....7 AM??!!! eek its soo gonna be a long day. zach will be put thru the ringer...lab work, vitals, xrays, possibly mri, ect. the second day of the eval will consist of actually seeing the 3 specialists there, the pedi ortho, pedi surgery, and pedi pulmonary. im ready to get this done and see what they say, what they think of the scoliosis, what they plan to do and how it will benifit zach. if they decide that he does qualify medically for the titanium rib placement it will be a series of surgeries, the inital one and then every 6 to 12 months he will need to go in and have the rib expanded until he hits puberty and isnt growing at the rapid rate any more.

i also have more news on zach's upcoming surgery for ear tubes, and the sedated ABR, he will also need to get his adnoids out as they are enlarged, probably causing the mouth breathing, snoring, and also blocking the ear area not allowing the fluid to drain as it should. im also going to talk to the doc on our pre-op and see if we cant get his tonsils out at the same time, just because the adnoids and tonsils typically go together. crossing fingers.

is it friday yet?

2010-05-26T21:19:00.001-07:00

Well im slacking again, these updates seem to be getting harder to do, the only reason I can think of is that the boys are always in to something, sigh.
Some news recently found on Zach-man, the urologist wont be able to perform the testicle drop with the ear tubes, simply because of the clinic location, gggrrr. Oh well, so then we thought we would be able to get his ear tube and ABR surgery scheduled and done soon, but the audiologist is booked until the end of june, early july. Sooooo I guess in the next month or so. The spine center in san Antonio is booked out until july for the consultations, so assuming they get all the ducks in a row from all the information they need, looks like that will be july too, and then surgery 1-4 months later. Everything seems to drag. But the up side is , things are in place and even if there is a wait, we have the process started.
Zach goes to see the cardiologist tomorrow, im excited, really hoping to hear good news about the echo that was done a couple weeks ago. Crossing fingers!
The boys are doing really well with homeschool, and I must say im so proud. Both boys are now doing double digit addition, may not seem like a big feat for a 8 year old, but chance actually grasped the concept much easier than mikey, so I am thrilled! We haven’t tried to do subtraction with double digits or carrying digits. Boys are doing well in math, along with the double digits we have done many fractions and working with money as well. Mikey is reading everything in sight, chance has the ability to read, but I think he is just unsure so he holds back. Mikey has mastered nouns, verbs, and other parts of speech. With them doing so well, we have decided not to stop for summer, in addition to them probably forgetting half of what they have learned, I also think we may be able to advance more if we just stick to it. So we will probably do 3-4 days a week, all year long.
Well I know there is more to update with but im out of time for now

surgery surgery surgery

2010-05-24T23:09:00.000-07:00

well here it is nearly june, been busy planning out surgeries for zach. yuck! when we had our last surgery with the brain bleed i really really hoped that would be the last surgery he would ever have to endure. but i guess life has other plans. luckily these arent emergency surgeries so we are able to plan them out a bit. the first one is for tubes for his ears, and a sedated ABR to test his hearing, we were hoping to have his urologist also present and get his testicles dropped, but unfortunatly that wont happen as both doctors cant get together for the surgery. the ear surgery will probably happen in the next couple weeks.
the other surgery we are planning is a more invasive one, in san antonio. its for a titanium rib. we havent had the consult yet, but judging by all the litature and other doctors he should be a prime canidate for his scoliosis. this consult will be 2 days in itself, the surgery will probably be 1-3 months after the consult. the recovery time for this is a couple weeks with no complications and since were from out of town, 1 week extra to monitor out of hospital. so needless to say it looks like we will be down in san antonio for awhile. after the inital surgery we will need to go back every 3-18 months, depending on growth, to allow them to expand the titainum rib thru a smaller surgery.
summer is also coming, its getting hoooot here. :) well its 1 am, time to hit the bed. nighty night

its May already???

2010-05-03T14:49:00.001-07:00

so so sorry for the delay in postings, hopefully yall havent given up on us:) things here are going well. Zach is into his 2nd full week of no overnight feedings with the pump!!! he now gets 8 bolus' of 125cc thruout the day, still getting 1000cc a day, but were able to have his last feeding around 930 at night and he sleeps without the need to be connected to the pump...what a wonderful feeling. LOVE the progress. Zach has also been making progress in the standing area, he is challenging himself LOADS, he is letting go of objects and standing on his own, for good lengths of time!!! he is so proud of himself, and we are so proud of him too!!! he has even managed while standing in front of me after i let his hands go to take 1 to 2 steps towards me on his own!!!!proud mommy moments!
were preparing for hubs to head to the field soon, orinally it was from the 1st to the 23r but has been changed, so we will get him home a lil longer. we finally got zach's referral in to see the specialists in San Antonio for the titanium rib consult. Zach had his ECI annual last week and during that time they took measurements and discovered his legs are now off by 1/2inch. :( so i guess that is more proof that the scoliosis is worse.
wed we will see a new ENT and see what he thinks in reguards to his hearing, the possibility of tubes or just the sedated ABR testing. and on friday he will be seen by the pedi psychologist again and see if after reviewing all of his scans and reports and doctor notes she has anything new to tell us or help us with his head hitting. i will try to be better about updating hope all is well.

neuro follow up

2010-04-14T20:53:00.001-07:00

wowzers its wed. already?? its been a crazy week, harolod has been working wayyyyy to much, drama at work has kept him from being home. hoping this weekend is different. monday we had Z-man's neuro visit, i went into the appointment armed and ready, i had zach;s medical records i have and was ready for a fight. well whats that saying...if you are ready it doesnt happen?...but be unprepared and the worst will take place? the neuro doc was totally different, he wasnt rushed, he answered questions, he didnt beat around the bush. he took his time. best of all when we left we felt validated and not pacified. from his stand, zach is making big strides! he was impressed. i love it when zachy can impress his doctors. zach's head size hasnt grown, still 46cm, been this way for i dont know how long. dr wasnt too concerned said that as long as he is progressing its not a big deal. he did tell us there may come a point when he doesnt progress anymore, but i dont believe that:). the neuro confirmed my belief that zach does indeed have cerebral palsy, he said basically what CP means is "something neurologically is causing motor control problems" and though he gave us a verbal diagnosis, he didnt put it in writing, said he didnt think the "lable" would do anything extra for him, since he is getting so much therapy and stuff now. he said that the type of CP zach has is the hypotonia type, causing him to be floppy and not the spastic type,where the muscles are contracted(something we knew) i believe he said the type was called ataxia cerebral palsy...but dont quote me.
Tuesday was mikey's 8th birthday!! we will celebrate this weekend. he had his first psych therapy on his birthday as well, it went good and we were also able to schedule zach's first visit in next week, not a moment to soon since he has now caused two callases on his fingers, 1 he had bleeding yesterday:( hopefully she will have some ideas for us. the neuro also reccomended zach seeing a psych for his abusive behavior, said its very likely a part of the CP.
Chance had another ocupational therapy today, he is making great strides in it and his therapist seemed to think he will continue to make strides, just has to warm up to the situations and undestand he is safe. very happy to hear that. she had a whole session with no meltdowns!!
Mikey is doing really well in the the ocupational therapy as well, he is practicing lots with sequencing, fine motor, and i can see it helping at home as well!! we LOVE mikey and chance's therapist, Mrs. Karen!
next week zach will also see a new dentist, im hopeful they will have some better advice for his constant teeth grinding than "its typical" he has actually ground his teeth down a lot:(

id like to leave this post with prayer requests, i just learned that there is another CDH baby, a girl, up at scott and white, she is on the heart and lung bybass machine, called ECMO, while this machine is a life saving device, its a very scary one, and one that the baby isnt allowed to stay on long, please pray her lungs will rest well enough while on that she can come off soon and kick butt and get out of the hospital!!

Happy (late) Easter

2010-04-05T00:33:00.000-07:00

hello all, ive been putting off updating, there is so much information to update on and i guess i havent had the energy to update, so i will attempt to do so now....

since the last update, Zach has seen the eye dr, the spine dr, and was suppose to have his ECHO done for cardiology. we have also been doing some discussing on possibly obtaining a few other diagnosis'.

first before i forget in the heap of all of the information, i hope everyone had a wonderful Easter and enjoyed being together as a family if possible. hope everyone was healthy and safe!

Eye dr... well since zach is a "special" kiddo, the boys eye dr wanted to see zach on a day when the doc's brother, another eye dr would also be in office, so we got that scheduled and he was seen by 2 docs on the same day. they were very patient and did a good job of checking what they could. his eyes appear healthy, no cataracts (one possible issue with the gene he is missing) and he appears to see well, its hard to say what he sees and how perfect at this point since he cant communicate that to us. we will go back in 6 months for another check. the worst part of this exam was the dialation of zach's eyes, he HATED being held down for that! overall it was a good visit.

the next day we saw the spine doc. zach has had a consistant curve of his spine ( the scoliosis) so far of 25 degrees, this time they went from a laying down xray to a sitting xray(not sure if that makes a difference) and said that in the last 6 months his curve has gone from 25 to 35 degrees...so thats a big jump. like i said i dont know if the new way of doing the xray had something to do with the change, but we were told we need to go to san antonio to see some specialists there and get a consult for a possible titanium rib surgery to help with the curve. im still waiting to hear back on the status of this referral. but i guess in the next coming months we will be headed there to find out what our next step is. (insert nervesness here)

we were suppose to have zach's 6 month ECHO follow up last week, but last minute it was cancelled until the middle of may, sigh.

next week zach will have his followup with neurologist, this is probably where we will also seek out answers to see if we need or should get some new diagnosis' for him. these new ones are cerebral palsy ( the definition of this is ANY brain damage done from conception to the first 2-3 years of life) with zach's brain bleed, brain atrophy, and a copy of his eeg report from less than a week old where it states (a diffuse disturbance in cerebral function was noted) to me says it plain and clear... ive had one doc agree with me on this and tell me that it would be hard to get someone to diagnosis this simply because no one wants the "blame" on them. sigh. blame is the last thing we have in mind. if he has this then he needs it noted so that he can recieve any additional help. and the other diagnosis' is a bit harder for me to swallow, i know its because of the "stigma" attached to it, and that NO lable changes Zach, but at the same time, no no no no no, mommy denial maybe? its, mental retardation, there i said it. why cant they call it cognitive impairment? so many other states do, but not Texas, sigh. the "R" word. bleh. but truthfully he is at less than a year old mentally, in some areas probably much less, so for the time being the lable is "severe global developmentally delay" and according to therapists, thats more than enough given his actual ability to communicate and act and do age appropriate things for him to recieve this diagnosis. the only reason i am even considering it is for zach, for his future, for extra help we may be entitled to to help him gain more ground. i will not believe for a moment there is any stopping zach, and that he WILL do it ALL, in his time. i dont want the stigma attached to him. i dont want people to see the "R" word before they even see zach. im torn. im at a crosswords and dont know what path to take.

we have also put in a referral for zach to see the psychologist that the boys are now seeing, for his self abusive habits, his hitting and punching of himself, he now does this and laughs about it :( and his biting himself. we will see if she has any experience in this and has any tips.

the boys have both been evaulated with this psychologist last week for their possible autistic traits. Chance was on the boarder for being diagnosed on the spectrum, but missed it barely, he will be seeing her (hopefully soon ) for behavior therapy, as of now she is calling it a conduct disorder i believe and will re-evaluate him in about 6 months. Mikey was also tested, however he did meet criteria, he is boardering between asperger's and ppd-nos, for the time being since she will be meeting with him 1-2 times a week for therapy she wants to call it ppd-nos, and may later change this. he will also be evaulated in about a year. mikey will begin his therapy on his 8th birthday, april 13th. its hard to believe his birthday is so close and we havent had a chance to do much of anything in means of planning anything. im waiting on my clone....

therapy wise here is how things are looking for zach

ocupational-she hasnt had much luck getting zach to try to do much, he has been "busy" doing his own thing...hitting his toys, hitting himself, or crawling to new spots on the wall to hit! she is still working on his feeding.....slow and steady wins the race i guess. 2x a week she comes out to do therapy, there is progress made, zach has just become difficult lately.

physical-she is also coming out 2x weekly. he is now pulling up to EVERY surface. she hasnt gottan him to cruise much on his own, or to let go of the surfaces. we will be picking up his SMO's (new foot braces) this thursday and hopefully that will help give better support for him.

speech-2 times a month. working on sign language, zach has no intrest. working on verbal communication...again no intrest. working on feeding...no intrest. sigh. slow and steady.

developmental-3 times a month, she works on a mixture of everything with him and helps us obtain sources for support, ideas, and so forth.

i dont know where we would be without all our wonderful therapists! they work wonders.

mikey is still in ocupational therapy 2 times a week, and chance has joined him, still unsure if it will be 1 or 2 times a week for him. mikey has been scheduled for his first psychological therapy, were hopeful to get 2 in a week, and im unsure yet for chance. like i said im waiting on my clone! :)

wwhhheeewww there you have it...thats the reason i was putting off the update, its just so much to type. thanks for reading, hope you all have a wonderful week!

ENT followup

2010-03-16T18:52:00.000-07:00

Today was Zach's ENT follow up from his ear infection, results say left ear is good, right ear needs a few more days of drops. while we were there we went ahead and got a hearing test done for zach. the good news is the tempanogram (sp) that they insert in his ear to check for middle ear problems and fluid build up showed that the ear drum was good, no fluid! this is a first!! the bad news is, after a few minutes in the sound proof room, zach failed to respond to the audiologist sending sounds in the room. the audiologist was concerned and requested zach gets a ABR done, so we are on the waiting list for this and will hopefully have his testes dropped the same time while he is already sedated. so now we wait.....

genetic follow up

2010-03-15T19:14:00.001-07:00

today was a LONG day! we left early for austin, only to get there on time...really thought we were gonna have some time to spare. sigh. Zach was seen and certianly voiced his opinion in the matter, he wasnt happy to be there at all!! he only smiled after the exam and when the doc wasnt near him. what a silly boy!
from a genetic standpoint, we are thinking his deletion on the 22nd chromosome is a CNV,copy number variant...meaning it runs in our family somehow, so far my blood came back negative, however dad gave his blood today, we will see if his has the same deletion. zachs head was measured and its the same from the last time we were there, about 9 months ago, so this means no brain growth :( but he is making developmental gains so we will sit happy with that! she also thinks his hitting himself may be from the ears, so tomorrow when we go to the ENT i think its time to convince the doc to go on and plan this surgery, we will also need to plan to have his testicles lowered and give him a ABR while he is sedated, this is the "gold standard" hearing test. we need to see where we stand for his hearing.
after the appointment we raced back to belton to have Zach seen by a special company that was in town fitting kids for special trykes, we are hoping to get him one donated to him, after he outgrows it then we would give it to another child who needs it. he loved being on the tryke:)
by the time that was done our nurse was off duty and it was time for her to get back to the house to head home herself. if only there were MORE hours in the day...

cant hear you, i got therapiez growing outa my ears

2010-03-09T22:24:00.000-08:00

here a therapy, there a therapy, everywhere a therapy, eeek. so today was Chance's eval for Ocupational therapy, we were able to let him take mikeys spot with mikeys therapist for the eval. ive always joked with chance that he wasnt in therapy "yet" well, those words came back to bite me! he qualifies for therapy, ill find out thursday exactly what his area of weakness is.

Zach isnt feeling well thanks to his ears. fever, cranky, diareah thanks to the antibiotic, sleepy, restless, fussy, higher heart rate, higher oxygen need, mouth breathing...stuffy nose and im guessing a sore throat! ugh. so i cancelled his 3 therapies for tomorrow. he needs his rest. i have plans to go to 2 pharmacies, do schooling with the boys, run by walmart, hobby lobby and i wanted to hit a few thrift stores,and possibly the library...we will see how much of that can get done. id like to sleep some too.

which hat now?

2010-03-08T10:44:00.000-08:00

well its monday YIPPY (insert small bit of sarcasm). this week we have 8 therapy sessions planned, Zach has OT, and PT twice each, he has speech and developmental therapy, Mikey has ot, just once this week as Chance gets the pleasure of OT this week as well, he gets his evaluation and we will see where we need to go from there. Zach also gets his RSV shot and then hopefully by saturday Harold is home. just for fun ive decided to list "my hats" mom, wife, book keeper, records updater, cook, errand runner,appointment maker, cook(though not very good) housekeeper(also lagging behind) homeschool teacher (think ive lost my mind) therapy aid (ST, OT,PT,DT)diaper changer, medication administrator. needless to say im looking forward to Harold returning home. he has a "Hunny do" list alread! here it is...

HUNNY DO

Take Over ALL Hats....

my list for when he returns?

SLEEP!!!

HAVE A GREAT MONDAY EVERYONE

the small gestures

2010-03-07T22:01:00.000-08:00

friday we left the pulmo visit with zach and headed over to mcdonalds for the boys to eat and run around. loaded zach into his stroller/wheelchair, oxygen tank in the front, bag of meds on the side and went in. thats when it happend, something so small it was probably not noticed by many others. inside we met an Angel, though from the outward appearce most wouldnt have guessed (never judge a book by its cover) a twenty-something guy with tattoos down his arms, and guages in his ears reached down in a nearly automatic response and waved and talked to zach, of course zach just smiled up a storm at the young guy. the thing is, not that he spoke to Zach, but that he did it without hesitation, he didnt see the oxygen from his nose, or the tank in the stroller, or that the stroller wasnt like most...he saw ZACH, nothing more. in that brief meeting i saw an Angel, not a "misfit of society" or "punk rocker" or any other stereotypical phrase that may be used. thank you for the moment....

saving resources

2010-03-06T18:32:00.000-08:00

since im posting alot on becoming healthier and staying healthy i thought it may be a good idea to also share our way to not only save on our electricity bill, but to also help save resources for both us and the earth.

we recycle, cardboard, cans, plastics that allow for it. we try to buy items packaged in items that can be recycled.

we turn lights out when not using them, we use the energy saving bulbs, lots of our appliances are energy effecient as well. we wash clothes in cold water only, helps save electricity. i do most of my laundry and dishes at night, when the cost of electricity is down. using the dishwasher is actually better, uses much less water than hand washing. when we brush our teeth we only turn water on to clean up, its off during the brushing process.

we dont use paper towels, we use regular hand towels, we dont use paper napkins, we use cloth.

alot of what we do is just being mindful and aware that our actions will not only affect our pocket book but also our natual resources. again start small, one less bag of garbage, one less load of laundry, using real plates instead of paper....

arm yourself

2010-03-05T18:11:00.000-08:00

knowledge is power, and ive decided to step out and lend some to you all, in hopes i wont be pointed at and whisperd "she's one of them....the crazy ones" but if i am, so be it. the info is here, please check it out.

this site has a list of 12 chemicals in beauty supplies i hope you all read and take note of, these are things that you need to rid yourself of. again my all time fav. site for ordering the healthier things is www.vitacost.com

http://www.searchforthecause.org/documents/dirty_dozen.pdf

this site lists alot of good information about BPA, im sure you have heard some of it in the media, but here is a good look and where its used.

http://www.toxicnation.ca/toxics-in-your-body/bisphenola

this is also a good link to take a look inside your body and find out where the chemicals come from, what they do inside the body, and so forth.

http://www.toxicnation.ca/toxics-in-your-body/how-are-you-exposed

here is a link to a list of good ideas for going toxic free

http://www.toxicnation.ca/go-toxic-free

finally i dont want to completely overboard anyone with info, but will give a quick summary of things we are doing in our home to help get toxic free. i use mainly homemade cleaners, baking soda and vinegar to clean items, this does just as well as soft scrub, clorox, commet or any other items your now using. vinegar can be used to sanitize, clean windows and mirrors, laundry to help remove static and get clothes softer. clean toilet bowls, mopping, etc. baking soda is used for those items i need to scrub. we use no spray cans in the house, no lysol or fragrant oderizers. baking soda and vinegar can be used in the dishwasher as well as borax, lemon juice, or orange juice to help add a nice smell. bath time we use burts bees for the kids and are making the switch for ourself we use toms toothpaste for everyone. im looking into getting some "soap nuts" for our laundry as this would be a toxic free, eco friendly way to clean clothes. we also wash in only cold water as it uses less electricity, but that is for another post. i use lots of supplements for the kids and i, including vitamin c, vitamin d3, echinacia, fish oil to help boost our immune system. i use aloe vera gel for lotions, to help heal scrapes, to help condition hair, and am looking into getting some aloe vera juice as its many benifits for health. we are trying to cut out as much processed foods as possible, making more from scratch, etc. these are just a few ideas, start small dont feel overwhelmed.

Fluoride

2010-03-04T16:30:00.000-08:00

recently my eyes have become open by some news that just made my jaw drop...FLUORIDE...the item i held so close to "keeping healthy teeth" turns out to be originally a toxic pollutant...OMG! its in our WATER, its in toothpaste, its everywhere. i immediatly threw out our toothpaste and orderd toms of main toothpaste with no fluoride. we will no longer be getting the fluoride treatments at the dentist, and im looking into getting a good reverse osmosis water filter, its the only kind that will remove fluoride. boiling water will remove chlorine but consentrates fluoride.

this site has a lot of info, check it out for yourself, but i will also copy and paste some of it here.
http://www.mbschachter.com/dangers_of_fluoride_and_fluorida.htm

if your looking for the fluoride free toothpaste, please visit. www.vitacost.com

Facts About Fluoride

So, what are some of the facts about fluoride? According to the handbook, Clinical Toxicology of Commercial Products, fluoride is more poisonous than lead and just slightly less poisonous than arsenic. It is a cumulative poison that accumulates in bone over the years. According to the Physicians Desk Reference, "in hypersensitive individuals, fluorides occasionally cause skin eruptions such as atopic dermatitis, eczema, or urticaria. Gastric distress, headache, and weakness have also been reported. These hypersensitive reactions usually disappear promptly after discontinuation of the fluoride."

In the largest U.S. study of fluoridation and tooth decay, United States Public Health Service dental records of over 39,000 school children, ages 5-17, from 84 areas around the United States showed that the number of decayed, missing, and filled teeth per child was virtually the same in fluoridated and non-fluoridated areas. Dr. John Colquhoun, former Chief Dental Officer of the Department of Health for Auckland, New Zealand, investigated tooth decay statistics from about 60,000 12 to 13 year old children and showed that fluoridation had no significant effect on tooth decay rate
Prior to 1945, fluoride was properly regarded as an environmental pollutant. It was responsible for many lawsuits against industries, such as the aluminum industry and the phosphate fertilizer industry, whose waste products contain large quantities of fluoride. This fluoride destroyed crops and animals, leading to the lawsuits. The limited public view was that fluoride was an environmental pollutant that needed to be reduced or eliminated from the environment.

As a result of clever public relations campaigns, fluoride was transformed from an environmental pollutant to an essential nutrient necessary for producing healthy teeth. The science was poor, but the P.R. campaign was great. Being against fluoride was like being against motherhood or apple pie. Industries not only made millions from selling this environmental pollutant to water companies and toothpaste companies, but more importantly, it saved billions of dollars that would be required to clean up this environmental pollutant.

ive read elsewhere that it is a toxic that builds up in your bones as well, so im not sure that it will ever be "out of your system" but i encourage you to do your own research.

relying on technology...

2010-03-03T14:00:00.000-08:00

yep were in the age of technology, sometimes its wonderful, faster computers, smarter phones, phones with no landline, ability to bank, pay bills and make purchases all online. but the kind of technology im talking about tonight is medical technology. yes its great, its lifesaving, every step that is made is a step that could potentially save hundreds of lives. im all for it! without the vent we wouldnt have zach here, without the technology to feed zach thru the gtube, he would have starved, these are all good things.

question for you though, when you tuck your kids in bed and check in on them how do you know they are sleeping well...really in hard sleep? maybe they are drooling, or snoring? maybe your kiddo sweats while they sleep? for zach when i check on him thru the night, my number 1 factor in seeing if he is sleeping hard...his heart rate. and how do i check that? a piece of technology we use for zach to monitor his heartrate and his oxygen saturation level, most of you will be familiar with this when you take your kid to the doctor for a check up and they put the little lazer probe on their finger for about a minute and then take it off....
well in zachs case, anytime he is sleeping it is on the entire duration, during waking moments he has it spot checked, a few times a day. we rely heavily on these numbers, if his "awake" heartrate is higher than 130 its a sign he may be in discomfort, if his Sat is lower than 96 we immediatly check to see if his oxygen is in his nose or if he has removed it. during the night when he is asleep Zach's heart rate can go as low as 70 that ive seen, and this is thought to be "good" since it is much less work on his heart. if its hanging out in the low 100's thats a sign to us that he may be working on getting sick. its crazy to me that we rely so heavily on these lil numbers. that these numbers play such a crutial part in Zach's care, and moreso that without this technology we may not be able to catch things soon enough.
technology is good, but sometimes i hate relying on it....

sigh

2010-03-02T17:51:00.000-08:00

well i was on a really good role with the posts, sigh. then life caught up. we have been doing okay, a couple more weeks and the hubs will be back, at least for a few months:)
took the boys this weekend to the carnival, that was intresting, chance wouldnt stop screaming and crying when we first got there he was anxious and scared of the rides and the noises. he ended up having a good time, he really liked the smaller rides, i wasnt able to get him to go in the fun houses with mikey though, he was just too freaked out. all in all i think the boys had a great time, 3 hours at the carni sure wore us out!
it was a pretty weekend so i also took the boys to wazoo's a bounce house place and let them play about 3 hours and then to the park for about an hour, needless to say they slept good all weekend!
Zach didnt get to enjoy these outings, mainly because of the crowds and there was a nice wind chill to it and its not like he would be participating, so i let him enjoy the house with just him and the nurse.
He has been up to his own lil tricks though. he started pulling up about 10 days ago, on his baby walker, and now he is pulling up to the entertainment center, the couch, his crib...all over! he is so excited by this as well. i think hubs will be excited too. okay well ill try to be better at posting again..

2010-02-17T17:50:00.001-08:00

proud mommy moment! zach pulled up with the walker by himself!!

me counting? never

2010-02-15T19:34:00.000-08:00

so lets see we have gone thru 32 days of the 58 days of Dh's school training in georgia. so we have about 25 more to go. before you ask, no im not counting down the days, keeping a tally of all the doc appointments or therapy sessions, pay days, or trash days until he comes home......yea right. haha. im practically counting down the hours. lets see thats approximatly 612 hours, 36,720 minutes, or 2203200 seconds until he is back home!

not much tonight, im drained and ready for bed.....just gotta vacume the floor, get dirty clothes in washer, washed clothes in dryer, dried clothes folded, folded clothes put away, clean the kitchen, clean the table, feed the dog.....

the road to finding "me" part 4, homeschooling and more

2010-02-11T21:34:00.000-08:00

at the point when i withdrew the boys from public school for homeschool i had many people thinking i was crazy, i was one of them. mikey had ocupational therapy 2 times a week that i was dragging him out of school for, plus any out of town appointments he, chance or zach had, so i reasoned with myself that he was missing to much school as well, and he was. zach had therapy coming out to the house 4-5 times a week, plus his doctor appointments, the boys had their psychologist and developmentalist they were seeing plus the normal appointments. life was crazy, and here i was adding fuel to the fire. sigh.

its been a few months since homeschooling has started, and things still get a bit scattered about but were making it. mikey has sence been diagnosed with high functioning autism/asperger's, in addition to the SPD, ADHD, and sleep disturbances, chance had his iq tested at 4 and scored for a 5 year old at the 98%, i was told by the psychologist he was VERY advanced and was genius-like. he is also being tested for being somewhere on the spectrum of autism, or a mood disorder, he is being treated for ADHD in addition to his sleep problems, we still battle with his asthma and him getting croup each season. Zach has remained well and is doing better each day. in june 2009 just a couple months before he turned 2 he sat up on his own! in july he was crawling, and saying mama!! we were sooo happy. he was hitting milestones. he is still fed thru his gtube, he has recently been taken off many of his medications, only taking previcid, pulmicort, viagra, and diuril now. thats a small handful compared to his 13ish when he first came home. he is trying to pull up and walking small steps in a gait trainer. his diagnosis' are chronic lung disease, restrictive airway disease, pulmonary hypertension, pulmonary hypoplasia, repaired congenital diaphragmatic hernia, repaired subdural hematoma, gtube fed, scoliosis, 33 week preemie, hypotonic, brain atrophy, microcephaly, severe global developmental delay. compared to where he was a year ago he has come so far and will continue to thrive!

with all the changes life has thrown our way in the last 10 years my outlook has changed and my opinion on life has changed. i have new stressors that replace what i use to think of as stress. but i have new rewards in my life that make me glad each day i have with them.

with all the issues zach has with his lungs we dont use chemical cleaners in the house anymore, mainly vinegar and baking soda, for everything. its much healthier for us all. were trying to eat healthier, im even learning recipes for making things from scratch. were trying to eliminate our processed foods, rid ourself of those toxins and be more mindful of the enviorment. zach still recieves his RSV shots for the seasons sept thru april due to his fragile lungs but we have decided other than that and his hep shots due to the frequent blood transfusions he has had in the past and may need in the future the boys and us will no longer be immunized with anything. after finally doing our own research on the chemicals in the shots we have decided we dont feel comfortable injecting the posions to our kids. im not sure if any of the shots may have helped to contribute to the autism spectrum disorders or not, but i know now that its not right for us.

so in all after all the rambling, thank you for being so patient, our journey has led me to this path, one where i want to protect our family from everything i can. i want to make our own food, school our children, not vacinate them, keep them away from as many chemicals as possible, some say im trying to live in a bubble... and i will agree. but its my bubble, im not insisting anyone join us, so dont pop my bubble:)

ive become more outspoken, i know more about medical mumbo jumbo than i ever thought was possible, im learning how to stand up for what we feel, without worring is everyone going to be okay with our decisions, im learning how to be more self sufficient, trying to grow our container garden, stock up on food items we can use in case of an emergency, im addicted to couponing, i love sale shopping and thrift shopping, i enjoy making food from scratch now. i enjoy homeschooling the boys...this is the new me. i think i have found my calling with my boys and all their medical mumbo jumbo....................

road to finding "me" part 3

2010-02-11T18:01:00.000-08:00

around 2 years old we also learned that chance had asthma...he had had 2 severe cases of croup and then the diagnosis hit. he also had allergies and ezcema, and had a small growth on the side of his cheek, we found out was juvinile melanoma and had it removed thru surgery. life seemed to be spinning out of control, but we were managing and doing okay thru it.

April 2007 we learned we were having our 3rd child, shortly after in May i had a small accident in a 711 and had dislocated my knee 12 times in 12 hours, i was in PAIN, on meds, that i wish i could have avoided being pregnant. i was in a knee brace with a walker for about 2 months, i had ocupational therapy myself to help me get up and moving again. in july i was out of therapy and by the 19th we had our BIG ultrasound scheduled, i couldnt wait to find out if we were having a boy or girl! i was so excited. the ultrasound tech said it was a boy, and then got very quiet a few moments later the OB came in, my heart sank, i was afraid, i knew this ment something was wrong, but there is no way i could have prepared myself for what was coming. i was told my son had Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia, i didnt know what those words ment but hernia didnt sound to bad. then i was hit with the knews of what it ment, i was told abortion was a option. we met with a ob councelor and a case manager who helped set up future appointments with specialists for the baby. i was devestated. the same day we were scheduled to move into our new apartment on post, a bigger place to accomidate the new baby, only now i was told there may not be a new baby coming home. we researched and found the best doc we could in houston to deliver Zach. Zach's delivery came early, on Zach's time, as everything soon would. i was life flighted to houston in labor in a helicoptor, i had signed the proper forms saying i understood the risks of flying while in labor, that i understood the risks of already having scar tissue from previous csection, that i knew i could potentially die, i could have placental abruption and both me and Zach die. but what other choice did i have? stay at the local hospital where they know NOTHING about zach, his needed care, they didnt have proper machines to keep him alive after birth. if we stayed he died, point blank. i HAD to go. the life flight team was wonderful, and the OB department took over. by morning the contractions hadnt stopped, labor was still progressing and when the amnio was done to check zach's lung growth, maternal blood was found...showing that my placenta was indeed abrupting. the csection HAD to happen NOW. luckily Harold was with me, the boys were with his parents (a whole nother story) and on oct 26th at 805am, Zach was born at 33 weeks weighing in at 4lbs 7 ounces, 18 inches long. he was intubated immediatly and i didnt get to see him till that night.

Zach stayed on the vent to breathe for him, thru his surgery to repair the hernia at 5 days, he remained on the vent until christmas morning when he self extubated (remember i said everything is done in Zach time) he seemed to be doing well as far as i could tell. he was still needing oxygen and at the time a CPAP machine to help deliver pressure to his lungs. in january we left houston and transfered to a closer hospital to home, by this time we needed to be with the boys more, mikey was being cared for, or rather not cared for, by my inlaws and chance had come to stay with us at the ronald mcdonald house after only a week with the inlaws (they couldnt handle him) mikey would have been with us as well had it not been for school.

Zach remained in the new hospital for 3 months, i found the care at this hospital to be awful and really felt like we had to get him out inorder for him to survive! he left the hospital after his second surgery to place a gtube, this was how we fed him his formula thru a tube and syringe as he still wouldnt allow for oral feeds. after only having him home for 5 days Zach went into respitory failure and was sent back to the same hospital but the PICU this time not the NICU. the PICU was a God send, my faith was restored with the caring doctors and nurses, the atmosphere was much different than that of the NICU. Zach was on the vent again for 6 weeks before we were able to get him back on a nasal canula (portable oxygen) after tweaking some meds and getting new scripts we brought Zach back home. this time he was home for about a month, when he had a seziure, the seziure we later learned was caused by a bleed in his head, called a subdural hematoma, it was repaired and we were told it was "old" blood, unsure how the injury occured, and that he had brain atrophy from this. he was sent home on seziure medication as well. up until this brain surgery zach didnt respond to anything, didnt smile, he cried alot. he was fussy, and would just lay all day. after the surgery we saw him SMILING!! it was a miracle. he started to slowly respond to things and "wake up" in a way to his world.

Harold again left for korea this time in october, only about 6-8 weeks after getting zach home from this brain surgery. times were tough. we had nurses inside our home all the time to help, and while it was help, it was a bit "odd" as well. we had therapists coming in as well. many appointments each month to see his specialists, his cardiologist, his pulmonologist, his neurologist, his orthopedics, his GI doc, as well as all the "normal" baby things. needless to say in all of this the boys issues kinda got put on the back burner for a while. shortly after though we started ocupational therapy for mikey though and started to dig further into their issues. with new medications for mikey and chance sleep got better, moods got better, things were looking better.

Harold was gone for a year, when he came back chance was in pre-k and mikey was in 2nd grade. both boys were having problem and issues in school, mikey was hiding under his desk, chewing his clothes, unable to pay attention, complaing the room was to loud and kids were mean and on and on, he wasnt keeping up with his school work and was having an overall bad experience. chance was getting in trouble for "always bumping into kids" (remember i said he was a crasher) and for having to walk circles around you when he talked and unable to sit quietly when needed, he had verbal tics that he would do when he was nervous and it would inturupt the whole class. it was taking a toll on both me and them. it was one more stress i didnt see the point for anymore. i withdrew them both from school after the first 9 weeks and started homeschooling.

road to finding "me" part 2, finding out more on SPD

2010-02-10T20:46:00.000-08:00

as i left off in the previous post, mikey was just quirky, he was very intellegent though, operating computers, going on websites, he knew it all! i was amazed! around the time mikey was 4 his baby brother Chance was born, Harold left 7 days after he was born for his second tour of Iraq. chance seemed to be developing ahead of schedule, holding his own bottle as soon as he had it at 4 months, i had given up breastfeeding him because he was soooo hungry all the time. once he latched on to the bottle he kept it for the entire feeding, there was no burping him or anything, he was devouring it, inhaling it. he started solids at 5 months and soon was eating EVERYTHING. the "quirks" we had had with mikey seemed to have "skipped" chance, he didnt mind getting dirty, he wouldnt make a peep if he pooed all over himself, thus unlike mikey he was HARD to potty train. he crawled sooner than mikey had, he walked sooner. he was a daredevil! Harold came back home from iraq when chance was 1 year old, and life was good. while Harold had been gone i had been battling sleep issues with mikey, he just didnt seem to "shut down" he was "always going" always moving, he could litteraly stay up from 6am to 3am and do it all over again. it was exhusting. we went to doctors, some said to try benadryl (didnt work) some said to wear him out...i tried. (mikey wouldnt play outside, because "it was hot" or "he would get sweaty" or "dirty") it was ALWAYS something with him. finally a doctor told us to go see a psychologist, she told us he had ADHD and to try melatonin. aaahhh finally the wonder pill....HE SLEPT! again life was good, Chance turned 2 and started the SAME sleep issues, this time i knew what to do, and it worked. we began seeing psychologist again, and the term "sensory processing disorder" was approached again. this time, more information...words like Autism were tossed out. Autism i thought...no he doesnt sit emotionless in a corner rocking, thats NOT my son! man was i UNIMFORMED on the subject. mikey was labled with SPD, ADHD, sleep disturbances, and possibly autism? what the heck? i was blindsided. but that didnt explain chance...chance didnt have SPD, he just didnt sleep. thru therapy we learned that chance probably did infact have SPD, but on the opposite end, he was the dirty,dare devil, loud, crashing into you kid. mikey was the quiet clean kid.

my road to finding "me" part 1

2010-02-09T17:18:00.000-08:00

i dont know that i have ever sat and said this is me, im this or that. but if i had done so in the past i know that it has changed drastically since i married, since being married to a soldier, since growing up, becoming a mom to a son, becoming a mom to multiple sons, and even more so to medically fragile child and special need children to begin with.

i cant even begin to describe in words most days. in highschool (this is the only "before" i can really relate to, as i married out of highschool)i was shy, not outgoing, would be considered a conformist i guess, i never did anything to make myself stand out, never wanted the extra added attention. let me also say i still dont do anything out of my new "normal" to draw attention. i married my highschool sweetheart 6 days before he left for basic training for the army, this was pre-9-11, we werent "at war" there didnt seem to be an impending war approaching, at least not to me, i never watched the news, i knew very little to nothing about other contries, i had lived in the same house in the same small town, gone to the same school my entire life. my life was stable, it was comfortable.

after being married and after basic training we learned we were to move to Germany, a country i knew nothing about, thousands of miles away from my family, my friends, my life. i left on a hope and a prayer that this was the right decision. we lived in Germany for 3 years, 1 of those years i HATED it, i HATED everything....i was still a child, and homesick! we had our first son shortly after arriving in Germany and it started to grow on me, this was "home" i met some friends and began to enjoy life. then 9-11 happend, our world was shattered. we were "at war".

Harold quickly deployed to iraq, the first deployement was about 7 months long. i stayed in Germany, afraid to go home, afraid to leave my new home, afraid he may never come back home. little did i know this was only the begining of our deployments, our seperations. Micheal was about 15 months old when Harold came back from iraq, suddenly life was normal again. at Mikey's 18 month check up they told us his fine motor skills were lagging behind, as well as his speech, he seemed pretty "normal" to me and i was in denial i guess. they had us fill out some questionairs and they assessed him some more, i was then told he had Sensory Intergration Dysfunction, now called Sensory Processing Disorder or SPD. i had no idea what this ment. for us it ment a few months in speech and ocupational therapy in Germany and that was the end of it. i wasnt accustomed to the internet much,didnt "google" it, didnt learn anything more than what i was told that day. it really just didnt seem like that big of a deal. so what my kid couldnt stack blocks, or hold his spoon, he walked into walls alot, he fell...he was clumsey! so what if he only knew 10 words by the time he was 2, he was cute as a button and soooo smart with electronics, he could work the vcr, the tv, the dvd player and computer...he wasnt "behind".

then one day right before he turned 2 years old, just a couple weeks before we were to leave Germany and move back to Texas, Mikey had a seziure! i had NEVER before seen one, i was alone in the apartment when he had it, we had no phone, as we were about to move, i was young i didnt know what to do, i scooped him up automatically and raced down a flight of our stairs to the nearest neighbor at home, whom i hadnt met and begged to use the phone. i called Harold and he raced home, we took mikey to the ER where he had 2 more seziures. we were quickly taken to the German hospital and admited. for about a week we were in the hospital waiting to find out WHY and WHAT was going on. in the end, Ear infection was the cause...his fever spiked really fast, not really high though, just fast, and sent his body into a febrile seziure. we were sent home with antibiotics, however we had no "home" at this point, we had already cleared, or rather, Harold had already cleared the apartment and given the keys up, we were in a small 1 room hotel until our flight out of country. mikey continued to have seziures every couple of months when his fever would spike fast, each time we were told he would probably never have another, each time he did. he finally "grew" out of them when he was about 4.

since moving back to the states, we kinda put the whole Sensory processing disorder on the back burner, there was alot going on, with the move, finding a new home, getting situated and accostomed to our new life, and i thought mikey had pretty much outgrown this. "he was quirky" i would tell my mom, he would line cars up in one direction and knew if you moved even one of them, he didnt like to get dirty (worked in our favor for potty training, he trained in 1 week with cloth underware) didnt like the way certian foods felt, the grass, bubbles in his bath, water over his head...but hey, we had no one else to compare this to...he was "just quirky" he loved to watch things spin...hotwheel cars, fans, sippy cups rolling on the floor...

abortion

2010-02-08T21:56:00.000-08:00

i was told it was an option, many times the doctors informed me, asking and waiting as if my answer would change.... my answer remained the same. it isnt an option. its not my choice to choose not to give life to this baby inside. its not up to me to decide if he lives or dies. the odds of him making it thru the pregnancy arent good, and his prognosis if he does even worse, quality of life deminished, still i stood solid by my answer, NO.

i prayed silently, i prayed loudly, i prayed daily for a miracle, and everyday i wake up and see that miracle smiling back at me. it was never an option, never even a question in my mind. the answer was simply NO.

rainy weather blahs

2010-02-08T20:02:00.000-08:00

well we have been getting lots of weather and lots of cold weather, really not to fond of either of these. in fact i pretty much despise them both at the same time. but what can you do? for me, i suffer from S.A.D. as well as generalized anxiety and depression, the lack of sunlight is a real bummer. i tend to want to lie around and do nothing, i find my mood is a bit more aggitated and snappy. did i mention i DONT like this kind of weather? too bad we are looking like we will continue this way thru the week.

wordless wednesday

2010-01-27T18:25:00.000-08:00

leave it to the army,

2010-01-15T19:07:00.000-08:00

DH is just a few days away from leaving for BNOC in Georgia, he will be gone for just under 2 months, we knew this was coming but it still stinks! he will miss Chance's 5th birthday, he already missed his 4th, he will make it home in time to do a combo birthday party for mikey and chance, so it wont be the end of the world, but it still sucks. however the part that made my heart hurt was what he told me yesterday, apparently sometime in the summer the unit he is in has discovered they will be "top readiness" basically if anything happends in the world they will be some of the first to go, luckily in our wonderful world NOTHING ever happends {rolling eyes} so im expecting he will be gone pretty much from the get go in the summer, thru probably sept, they are suppose to deploy still at the end of the year, so this year should be fun. sigh. just venting a bit

so far so good

2010-01-03T19:33:00.000-08:00

well ive been doing alot of thinking about the resolutions i made, and i know many of these just get tossed aside normally, but i really dont want them to, so im doing everything i can to keep these going strong.

for 1 i bought at kohls, the awesome shark steamer pocket, this thing rocks! it steam cleans all sorts of things, sinks, mirrors, stove, cabinets, deoderizes and kills bedbugs in the beds and couch, it also sanitizes the things we clean with it and releases wrinkles from clothing....it does ALL of this with water...well steam...but NO chemicals!

today i gave up sodas, i dont feel the need to pick one up, so hopefully it stays that way, not only will this help(i hope) with weight loss, but it will also help keep my immune system stronger, and help me stay healthier, the chemicals in sodas, its awful! so day 1 with no sodas, im trying to maintain a challange going on right now about eating from the pantry, i did need to buy lots of produce and things to help with the new eating habits, but i do want to try to eat much of our old stuff from the freezer and pantry instead of wasting this month. once this challange is complete i plan on eating much less processed foods, eating more homemade items. id like to do more freezer cooking, where i cook meals ahead of time so that they are "like" frozen meals.

needless to say i have many goals for me and the family this year, we will be healthier and happier and hopefully more green and more frugal.

welcoming 2010

2009-12-27T21:02:00.000-08:00

well Christmas has come and passed, hard to believe we are embarking on a brand new year already. Christmas was wonderful, Santa was VERY nice, and went a bit overboard in every aspect, but thats okay, this was our FIRST christmas together at home since Zach was born, christmas 2007 was spent in houston at texas childrens hospital, 2008 the boys and i were home but Harold was in korea, so it was VERY nice to have everyone home. especially since Zach was hospitalized only 5 days prior, we got very lucky that he was released after only a day's stay. i think its times like that that remind us not to get to comfortable with our health. not to take it for granted.

Zach was taken to the er on sunday morning with a 105.5 fever, he was then hospitalized, the flu test they ran came back positive, so they were treating him for the flu and pnemonia (once he was released and we had a follow up we learned much different news) at the follow up his pedi informed us the backup test done after the rapid flu test was negative, so zach didnt have the flu, he also didnt have a new case of pneumonia...but looking at his discharge note we learned he DOES have an infection, his white blood count was at 20 thousand, but no bacteria was found in his urine or his blood...once again zach was throwing us for a loop. the same day we had a ENT appointment, the doctor had NO bedside manner, never took in consideration ANY of zach's other health concerns, but wanted to immidatly do surgery on his ears to release the fluid and pressure, said that could be the cause of his infection. with this information we went for a second opinion, have an appointment on jan. 7th, im sure he will need tubes, but we needed to have a doctor who works with zach's other specialists, such as his pulmo, cardio, etc. and so we needed to put the surgery off for a bit. he has been a trooper though and hasnt let it bother him much.

Christmas was very nice, we woke all the boys up about 730 and opened gifts, mikey and chance got loads of nerf gun stuff, some wii games, light sabers for wii, light sabers just for play, some transformer stuff and star wars lego stuff. Zach got a small ride on car, some small toy/rattle type things, a wooden sound puzzle, and a vtech story book musical toy, DH got a tool box, a shirt, some fishing stuff to get him started, and a xbox 360. i was also very pampered this holiday (ill bask in it until the credit card bills show up. lol) i got a brand new high speed camera with a extra lense, filter, carrying backpack, an awesome foot spa and a cool mudd purse, for my birthday (yea got the gifts early) i got a awesome burts bees collection of 25 items, and a beautiful wooden cross.

like i said santa went overboard, but i think it was kinda trying to over compinsate for not being together last year. it was worth it.

the new year is approaching, ill be 28 in a lil over 3 days and in 4 days 2010 will be upon us! i have lots of hopes for this year,
~the health of everyone in the family, especially Zach
~get more finacially stable
~more organized
~more quality family time

some of my resolutions are
~ eliminate as many chemicals from our daily lives as possible
~eat less processed foods
~ cook more meals at home
~ work out more at the gym
~ loose weight
~ give up sodas
~ eat less sweets
~ in general, help me and the family get healthier

random

2009-12-10T21:14:00.000-08:00

emotional post

2009-12-03T00:42:00.001-08:00

today has been one of those days where you sit and reflect on things even though you maybe shouldnt. one thought that keeps passin thru my thoughts...when did life get so complicated? what happend to the simpler times, the carefree times? i try but cant even really recall life BEFORE, before the specialists, before the diagnosis', before the medications and surgeries, before cords,braces, and equipment....

on most days this is fine, on most days his lil smile and happy go lucky self is enough to snap me out and make my heart smile too.... today however isnt a day that falls into the better list.

over the holiday we had visitors, inlaws (i want to say its not my family...poor hubs has to take the blame for having them as family) anyway our inconsiderate brother inlaw and his family (3 kids) came down to share the wonderful holiday with us, they stayed from wed till saturday, only leaving when we kicked them out...the entire time they were here, their kids were sick (they know how we feel about having sick people near zach, we asked them many times to get their kids away from him, to wipe the snot from their kids nose, to get their kids medicen) saturday zach began to act a bit "off" so they were asked to leave....however this was only a small part of what was to come, by sunday zach's oxygen requirements went up, he began coughing and a small fever crept up...

by monday he had a fever of 103.7, and was on 1.5 litters of oxygen, 3x the amount he had been on, i called several clinics and the appointment line for our regular pedi, no luck for same day appointments. we fianlly got in with zach's pedi tuesday, we spent 4 hours in the clinic, poor zach had to endure so much, he had labs drawn, chest xray, flu and rsv swab done...the results were 2 double ear infections, both that had ruptured, pneumonia in his right lung...the "good" lung, the chest xray was so bad that the doctor really battled with admitting him to the hospital, the only thing that saved us was having home health nursing. zach recieved a very strong antibiotic injection into his lil legs, and sent us home on oral/gtube antibiotics. zach is recieving lots of chest procussion therapy (CPT) extra breathing treatments, lots of nasal suctioning and is definatly nowhere near baseline, actually on 2 litters of o2 now :( were still struggling to keep him out of the hospital, and im still kicking myself for ever letting "those people" inside, to top it off, we have recieved NO apology, no call from them, my mother in law did call 3 days after he got sick to "check on him" but thats IT! seriously...do they just not get it? honestly it angers me but it HURTS that people are that self centered that they cant see beyond theirselves. they have officially been unwelcomed to come back to our house.

please keep him in your thoughts and prayers to get well soon! i miss my happy little boy.:(

whispers in my head

2009-11-16T22:06:00.000-08:00

havent had a lot of time since we started homeschooling to sit and pour my thoughts out....not to say i dont have any to spill out though....that would scare me ...the thought that my brain was on a (gasp) break?? eek....never fear...lots of pointless thoughts are about to be poured out...

so some thoughts on homeschooling, some days i HATE it, i HATE not having ME time....now how selfish is that? seriously...i mean is that REALLY something that should bother me? well it does. i want to be able to sit and watch tv, to surf the net, to go shopping with NO kids in tow....
and then i sit back and take another look around and realize that THOSE small wants cant compare to what the boys AND me are gaining. the boys ARE listening, were gaining family time, were gaining learning experiences everywhere...and in the long run were gaining time...time thats not wasted in school lines waiting to pick them up, time not wasted in traffic coming home, time not wasted waiting to go places when school is on break. we arent tied to any schedule, but what we make. i find that i put more expectations (stress) on myself than probably anyone else would...this is good i guess...keeps me accountable, helps me stay on target for teaching the boys. ive been using our library like crazy checking out books on homeschooling for me, crafts, activities, books that help with science, social studies...its amazing what resources they have. its endless.

Zach has been doing wonderful with his crawling and exploring, IF you can get him motivated he is GONE. he LOVES to kick/hit our entertainment center, chase wipe packages down and play with paper. he still isnt much for real toys, but slowly he is exploring them. he is such a joy, and we are so blessed to have him, for the most part i can always look on the bright side, but there are occasions that i just want to scream! i mean he is 2!!! he should be running playing, saying "no" and "hungry" and so many other words, and he "should" be eating by mouth....a parent shouldnt have to rely on a surgically placed plastic tube in his stomach to feed their child! i shouldnt need a syringe and extension cord to hook up zach's feeding and pour the liquid pediasure thru the tube....what "normal" baby/child hits his head HARD daily to say "im tired"? he leaves marks on his face from this, and just keeps going. some days i want a normal child......but then i have to remind myself...then he wouldnt be zach, God gave us Zach, as he is, perfect in God's eyes, for a reason....and thats an honor, and a true blessing. zach will remain innocent longer than most, zach will communicate with his heavenly friends that he can see and we cant, for years longer than others would, zach will remain my cuddly baby just a bit longer... i know this...and yet...some days i want to scream. in the end, im human, im not perfect and i break....they make a wonderful medication...zoloft, that helps with the anxiety of life...:) this helps the optimism last a bit longer than it normally would....(though im really debating with removing the word normal from our vocabulary).

our christmas deco is partially up...yes its WELL before thanksgiving and its up...there is one reason..christmas is the season of peace and always makes me happy, last week i learned from the hubs that instead of deploying in 2011 it looks like it could be 2010 now...depression hit, only i have no time to worry, or grieve, or any of that...so the next best thing...denial and redirecting my emotions/energy...decorations!!

speaking of army, and deployments, these are the times when i want to lead a civillian life, i want out. hubs has been in for 9 years now...that means WE have been in for 9 years, for many of those years i never thought of life outside of the army...between the last deployment and life with the boys on my own in the past couple years has stainned my view, however it really doesnt seem plausable between zach's medical needs, doctor visits, medical supplies, therapies and the boys medications and therapies and such our out of pocket with most insurance would be insane, and with the economy, its not that its impossible but its definatly scary. for hubs the "safety net" is to stay in. so for now there is alot that i push aside on my "plate", but the army has been good to us, medical wise, housing wise, financially stable for the most part.i just HATE HATE HATE the deployments, the seperations, the strains on the family, on the marraige, on the kids. sigh. enough of that soapbox.

bad blogger

2009-11-11T23:19:00.000-08:00

yep, i am a bad blogger. lots has happend since the last post. first, Zachy had a wonderful birthday, we celebrated his party on nov. 1st, on oct. 28th, 2 days after he turned 2 zach did the most amazing thing! ZACH CRAWLED! he moved his legs 2 movements actually moving himself. it was so amazing. my lil boy did it! so proud. he has worked VERY hard for that and im just tickled pink!

Zach's party was nice, he had great company, awesome gifts, and some very yummy food thanks to our wonderful friend, Nadine. very much a success.

on novemeber 5th a tragic event took place here at fort hood, a army major, who was a psychologist and also a muslim shot and killed 13 people and injured 29 i believe on fort hood. it was a very emotional and scary day,very unreal.

Zach saw his pulmonologist today,the appointment went wonderfully, i was very happy. zach's sat's and lungs were very good. we were able to wean down his lasix (a fluid reduction medication) from 2x day, 3 day week to 2x day 2x week, it may seem small, but just a few months ago we were at 2xday 7x week, so its working its way down. were hoping in about 6-8 months we may actually be OFF oxygen!! that would be incredible. we also had a blood chemistry done today, i guess the results will be back in a few days, this checks his potassium and sodium levels, were thinking we may be able to decrease those medications as well since the lasix is decreased. zach's weight was down again...he has been getting more mobil and using more calories so its normal for him to loose weight, but he needs more calories to help with growth of lungs and such. so zach went from 760ml/calories of pediasure a day to 1000ml/calories a day. he was 24lbs 10 ounces and 34 inches long.

we cancelled his sweat test for tomorrow, it wasnt the correct procedure we were looking for, this test wouldnt determin how well or how much he sweat, but more, how much of a certian chemical is in his sweat to determin if he has cystic fibrosis, and we know he doesnt, what we are trying to determin is DOES he sweat? and if so, how much? ive never seen him sweat. so for now were back to the drawing board.

42 days until christmas! i am already in the holiday mood, ready to put up our tree, ready to decorate, sip on hot cocoa, sing songs and just bask in the season. i love christmas time! i doubt ill be able to hold out until thanksgiving to put up our tree. :)

every year people make resolutions, most never happen, even with the best of intentions, im guilty. my usual is to "lose weight" and trueth be known, i probably gained instead. this year however i want to correct a few bad habits we got into about 2 years ago, after we had zach and we were living at the ronald mcdonald house, we didnt cook, many nights food was provided by various people and we would grab a bite to eat in the food court in the hospital, we did this day in and day out for months, since then its been much easier in my mind to grab food out rather than make anything, i want to break this habit for many reasons, i would love to have a dinner schedule, family time, save the money, try new foods, and im sure it would help to loose some weight. so im going to try to start this resolution now and hopefully it will stick in the new year.

memory lane

2009-10-24T17:53:00.000-07:00

hey Zach i just wanted to sit here and reminiss with you for a bit. 2 years ago today i had a non-stress test, i had been having them 2x week for you, i didnt mind too much though, i got to check on you and i always got a small ultrasound after too, many of those times we got to take home pictures of you. the radiologist who we usually saw would even get us a glimps of you in 3D....you sure were a cutie(still are)...but on this appointment i was having many contractions, none apparently were of concern, but i did mention it to the dr i saw, i didnt care for the doctor, she didnt listen to me, she didnt understand the pain id been having in my back and hips for the last couple days, i asked her what would happen if you came early and we werent in houston yet....she told me "you still have 7 weeks, but im sure we could handle that situation" i left from her office to the immunizations office....my mission was to get a flu shot, i knew i needed it, i knew i needed it before you came here.

it would only be about 4 hours after that appointment when your daddy took me to labor and delivery to get checked out. this is where the rollercoaster really started. i was in labor....7 weeks 1 day early, at the local hospital...not in houston at texas childrens. i recieved medication to try to slow labor, but it was no use, you had a plan. the doctors scrambled in to get things ready we HAD to go...if we stayed you would have virtually no chance at all.....if we left we had risks...they informed me that being in the helicopter had its own risks...having had previous c-sections there was a risk of placental abruption...this could lead to your death as well as mine possibly. there was also NO room to deliver you if labor progressed in the helicopter. what choice did i have? we signed the release forms and i kissed your brothers and your daddy goodbye and headed to houston. daddy got things squared away here at home as best he could in such short notice and he headed up to houston. by morning Dr. Carpenter had made his decision after having an amnio and finding maternal blood in your fluid...placental abruption had begun, it was time to get you OUT and let you show us what you could do.

two years ago today was my last day being pregnant with you, was my last day of knowing you were okay,. you were safe....as long as you stayed inside you didnt need your lungs to breathe, you didnt need to be hooked to a vent. 2 years ago today lil guy you showed us all how things will be done in ZACH time.

so hard to believe you will be 2 TOMORROW! your amazing Zach! we love you so much, and cant imagine life without you. were so blessed that you are so strong and such a fighter. were so Blessed God has blessed us with you, my lil zachy-poo.

fall time

2009-10-02T22:36:00.001-07:00

well there has been alot to update on since the last update.....Harold is HOME! he had many delays but did finally come home Saturday the 26th of sept. its been a crazy week adjusting to new routines and trying to establish each others "roles" in the family, but were ironing out the few creases and i think it should go smoothly.

right before Harold came home Zach was put back on antibiotics for tonsilitis, his poor throat was COVERED in pus! yuck! luckily after about 24-48 hours of the med he was back to himself. he is such a trooper and so amazing!

Since Dad has been home zach has been up to many NEW things, he ate 2 goldfish today, they were crushed up, but he ate them:) he dipped his face into his bath water to lick it:) he dipped his hand in the bath and licked it, he licked dad's shirt, the couch and tried to lick one of his toys. he is slowly begining to show signs of crawling, he moves one knee at a time and is slowly getting there, but slow and steady wins the race. he has been spending more time in his baby walker and is now manuevering it back and forth!!! yippie:) we have also discovered that zach hits himself in his head alot to express a need/want...for instance if he is in a chair or stroller and starts, we can say "you want OUT" and he will smile and kick, if he is laying on the floor sometimes its due to a dirty diaper, or wanting to be picked up. finally WE are able to understand a lil...poor guy im sure he was fusterated with us not knowing what he was trying to say.

Micheal and Chance both had parent teacher confrences the other day, micheal's was the worse of the two, his IEP doesnt appear to be in use at all, his teacher even asked me how we decided part of it in the ARD meeting, so obviously that means its not being implemented, or she isnt doing it correctly, then came time to look at his work...apparently math is done in the mornings, and his math book was barely used, she actually asked mikey what he does during math time....my thought was "WHAT do YOU SEE him doing at math time?" ugh. Chance's meeting went better, basically we were told what we know, he is above his peers, he knows numbers to at least 100, all abc's, all colors, all shapes except rectangle confused him, and the letters q and g confused him. she is wanting to try to get him more advanced work. he is a "crasher" and i figured that would be a issue, he does this at home with us, and apparently its a "normal" thing for kiddos with sensory issues, he is trying to "figure out where he is in space" and crashing into things helps him with that. the problem with that in school is, he is disrupting the class, he is bumping into kids, and basically causing CHAOS!

so after a lot of thought, and talk with Harold we have decided to homeschool Mikey, im on the fence with chance....though im thinking it would make more sence to just do them both...they could help each other and kinda keep things more organized that way. so ive gottan a few small workbooks, some good websites, advice from some people and some printouts and we will be starting this probably in the next couple weeks. i have to keep reminding myself its for them, to help with the learning....i personally sure do like my alone time for a bit in the day, but this will be better for them, and maybe i can figure out a way to have a bit of quiet time too.

well im off to bed:) night

tick tock goes the clock

2009-09-23T22:16:00.001-07:00

well its been a few days and im sure after this post it will be a few more, we have LESS than 48 hours and Harold will be HOME! our year long deployment is nearly OVER. some days it seems as though he has been in korea for years and some days it seems like its been a few months only...though usually its the first one. i think the appointments with zach and the boys has been a double edged sword....both great in that it helped keep us busy and dreadful in that its exhusting!

in the past year Harold has missed, zach's (real) birthday, we celebrated early for him though, thanksgiving, christmas, new years, my birthday, chance's birthday, mikeys birthday, end of school, summer(for the most part) our 9th anniversary, fathers day and mothers day, first day of school for chance and first day of second grade for mikey, mikey's ARD meetings, parent teacher meetings, at least 2 Echo's on zach, countless EEG's, a MRI of zach's brain...(done on monday to see how the brain is developing...no results yet) flu shots for the boys last year, about 6 RSV shots for zach last year, all the genetic appointments, ETC....i could go on and on. but its finally coming to an end!

this week has been eventful for Zach, he tried some new foods, though its a fight to get him to take it, he is doing better, he tried lime, applesauce, hot sauce, blueberry baby food, peaches baby food, spegetti o sauce, pickle juice....the ones he seemed to like best? pickle juice, lime,hot sauce.....hhhmmm? crazy.

Zach has been spending more time in his baby walker...the normal kind every baby has, and today he took steps both back and forwards in it!!! im THRILLED! it was only a few, and could have been a fluke but no matter, were doing the happy dance here!

Our ECI developmental therapist has asked us to be the family that they interview (apparently this is a yearly thing they do to train and learn from??) anyway we are going to go to their office in oct. for a interview on Zach! the therapist said they were talking about it at work and she was so excited and asked if she could suggest a family....we feel very honored and excited. any time i can show zach off is a wonderful experience. him babbling or trying to walk in his walker is like mozart playing music! its amazing. so ill let you know more about that when we do it.

Zach has FIANLLY shown us that he can place an association with an object..ie: spoon goes in mouth, blocks stack up...zach likes PILLOWS!(who knew) he gets happy and reaches for the pillow, lays it down on the floor and then moves himself to lay on it.....he has done this at least a dozen times in the past 24-36 hours, so its not a fluke. we have even given him choices in the pillow and a toy and he picks the pillow...so he clearly knows what he wants.

i was able to attend a autism meeting last night and lucky enough that a author of some children's books on autism was there, she read some of her books and took questions. i asked her about mikey hiding under the desk at school and she told me that he was looking for a sensory need to be met, and suggested a few things...a cap to wear, a jacket, a weighted vest, or weighted blanket...since i dont have most of these i sent him to school today in a long sleeve shirt with his school uniform shirt on top and a hoody jacket on and when i picked him up i asked how his day went and he told me he didnt need to go under his desk!!!! WOW! so im very happy with this. we will try again and hopefully its not a fluke.

well i have about 42 hours left before he will be home, and i will be sleeping about 12 of those hours, so that leaves me about 30 waking hours until we are a family of 5 again!:)

sweet zach

2009-09-17T19:23:00.001-07:00

holding you as night approaches, you cant talk, not verbally....but you TALK to me, the subtle sighs, your sweet smile...you like the cuddles...almost as much as me. your hand rests in its most natural spot....curled and twisted in your mouth as you flick your tongue and grind your teeth. the squeak and chatter of your teeth the only sound i hear, then you look up, almost as if by instinct...and out comes "gaga-ggagga" you smile and rest your head on my shoulder. without wasting a second your back to clacking your teeth together. your eyelids getting heavy, your breathing more steady, its nearly night time and soon you will be laying in your crib, for now we rock in silence....other than you clacking teeth, and i soak up your love....goodnight zachy-poo