my give a damns busted

okay warning here, if you dont want to hear some bitching, dont read.....there i warned you.

well ive been thinking alot and feeling rejected, thats not a good combo.

i have 3 IRL friends that im feeling rather rejected from, for instance, even after i tell them something they "know nothing" , and will totally forget what i said or asked, this has happend several times. or, on facebook one will ask for suggestions or ideas on something, ill suggest something and get totally blown off, but if someone else mentions the same damn thing suddenly she thinks its great, i mean really WTF? im not a stupid person, and typically any suggestions i have are tried and true, i dont get it. and that in itself isnt everything. i send messages to my friends, via text, or facebook or whatever and get zip responce.....i mean really its too hard to fucking respond? sometimes its just a "hope you have a good day" they cant type a "you too" so i guess that means they dont give a fuck?? and if they dont why should i? why should i put myself out there over and over?

oh but have no fear, if they need/want something i get texts and emails galore....to that i wanna say fuck off, but i try to be the good friend. really i do. i try to go out of my way to pick them up stuff if they need, to mail them things, to remember their birthdays and important days, to let them know im here, and i get squat! i swear sometimes i love my online friends so much more. i just dont get it. maybe the IRL friends are busy? maybe they are at the stage where its kinda like being taken for granted? i dunno. i guess it shouldnt bother me so much, but it does. rejection is never a easy thing.

i mean come on people, if your my friend its because i value you, i love you does it really hurt to spend a minute or two once a week or every other week to simply say hi and ask how things are going?