isolation

how is it i wonder, when your sitting in the mist of a crowded play area for the kids and parents are talking together and you simply sit, no one talks to you and therefore you simply dont talk...

i guess its easy when your holding a baby with oxygen on him, a baby who cant sit up on his own, a baby who has a feeding tube in his stomach. i guess they dont know what to say. "hello" would be a good start. we get the corner peeks from their eyes, watching our every move. and just at the time when i can feel myself becoming upset theres that smile, the one from "that" baby, the one who is.........always happy, the one who doesnt complain, who always smiles, and he melts your heart. suddenly i dont care if no one talks to me, he isnt contagious, but their ignorance is. im not ashamed or embarrased of him, just the opposit really. he is such a wonder in my eyes, a wonder that could have easily not even been here with us. Miracles happen, with every smile he makes i hear the lyrics of George Straits song, "I saw God today".

in case you havent noticed on my side bar i have added all the blogs and a couple new ones i found there , if i have added yours and you would like me to remove it please let me know. hopefully i wont have offended anyone. i enjoy reading the blogs and keeping up with everyone, sometimes i feel i have most of my friends in the computer, and i suppose its not a bad thing, just a different thing.

different has really become our new normal, lets face it, when we leave the house it looks like a circus! ive got two kiddos who bicker and fight, one who apparently doesnt understand that he is causing a disruption, one who says exactly whats on his mind with no idea how it impacts others. one kiddo is almost always crying for one reason or another and then there of course is the one who is hooked to all the machines. ive heard the saying over and over again that God only gives you what you can handle, but sometimes i wonder if maybe with all our moves we may have confused him as to our whereabouts. lol. seriously though i cant imagine my life any other way, less chaos? thats boring! and not having 20+ therapy sessions a month or a tool box full of medicens, mostly just to calm them down to prepare for bed.....nope cant imagine.

i havent mentioned on here ? i dont think at least, a VERY good friend of mine, ive known here more than 7 years , she is family to us and were so lucky she has moved back here and we can get together again. anyway she had her second daughter on Dec. 5th, her name is Julia, she is a beautiful lil princess with a head full of hair, now we knew she was gonna be special to begin with, but no one knew just how special, she was born with C.H.A.R.G.E. syndrome, its a very rare syndrome, in fact she was the first case for Scott and White hospital in Temple, she is already teaching everyone around her. CHARGE syndrome is a collection of possible issues, from eye problems, to heart problems( she has a small PDA hole in her heart) hearing problems, feeding problems, growth problems and more. she is home now and doing well. she has a feeding button and is keeping mom and dad on their toes. she is doing great at home and her big sis is so proud of her. before moving back to Texas here they were living in kansas, they moved shortly after they learned they were expecting baby number two, i cant help but thing it was divine intervention that she was brought closer for not only her (though i wish a special needs baby on NO ONE) but also for me, as i was and am at the isolation phase and felt that no one understood, and here she is close as family going thru similar issues. but i also hope that i can help her, walk her thru some of the things i wish id known. be a helping hand or a listening ear. funny how things work out though, there is always a reason i suppose.

time to get the boys in BED! darn meds its still a hit or miss thing with them!!:)