the family

the family

Thursday, February 11, 2010

road to finding "me" part 3

around 2 years old we also learned that chance had asthma...he had had 2 severe cases of croup and then the diagnosis hit. he also had allergies and ezcema, and had a small growth on the side of his cheek, we found out was juvinile melanoma and had it removed thru surgery. life seemed to be spinning out of control, but we were managing and doing okay thru it.

April 2007 we learned we were having our 3rd child, shortly after in May i had a small accident in a 711 and had dislocated my knee 12 times in 12 hours, i was in PAIN, on meds, that i wish i could have avoided being pregnant. i was in a knee brace with a walker for about 2 months, i had ocupational therapy myself to help me get up and moving again. in july i was out of therapy and by the 19th we had our BIG ultrasound scheduled, i couldnt wait to find out if we were having a boy or girl! i was so excited. the ultrasound tech said it was a boy, and then got very quiet a few moments later the OB came in, my heart sank, i was afraid, i knew this ment something was wrong, but there is no way i could have prepared myself for what was coming. i was told my son had Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia, i didnt know what those words ment but hernia didnt sound to bad. then i was hit with the knews of what it ment, i was told abortion was a option. we met with a ob councelor and a case manager who helped set up future appointments with specialists for the baby. i was devestated. the same day we were scheduled to move into our new apartment on post, a bigger place to accomidate the new baby, only now i was told there may not be a new baby coming home. we researched and found the best doc we could in houston to deliver Zach. Zach's delivery came early, on Zach's time, as everything soon would. i was life flighted to houston in labor in a helicoptor, i had signed the proper forms saying i understood the risks of flying while in labor, that i understood the risks of already having scar tissue from previous csection, that i knew i could potentially die, i could have placental abruption and both me and Zach die. but what other choice did i have? stay at the local hospital where they know NOTHING about zach, his needed care, they didnt have proper machines to keep him alive after birth. if we stayed he died, point blank. i HAD to go. the life flight team was wonderful, and the OB department took over. by morning the contractions hadnt stopped, labor was still progressing and when the amnio was done to check zach's lung growth, maternal blood was found...showing that my placenta was indeed abrupting. the csection HAD to happen NOW. luckily Harold was with me, the boys were with his parents (a whole nother story) and on oct 26th at 805am, Zach was born at 33 weeks weighing in at 4lbs 7 ounces, 18 inches long. he was intubated immediatly and i didnt get to see him till that night.

Zach stayed on the vent to breathe for him, thru his surgery to repair the hernia at 5 days, he remained on the vent until christmas morning when he self extubated (remember i said everything is done in Zach time) he seemed to be doing well as far as i could tell. he was still needing oxygen and at the time a CPAP machine to help deliver pressure to his lungs. in january we left houston and transfered to a closer hospital to home, by this time we needed to be with the boys more, mikey was being cared for, or rather not cared for, by my inlaws and chance had come to stay with us at the ronald mcdonald house after only a week with the inlaws (they couldnt handle him) mikey would have been with us as well had it not been for school.

Zach remained in the new hospital for 3 months, i found the care at this hospital to be awful and really felt like we had to get him out inorder for him to survive! he left the hospital after his second surgery to place a gtube, this was how we fed him his formula thru a tube and syringe as he still wouldnt allow for oral feeds. after only having him home for 5 days Zach went into respitory failure and was sent back to the same hospital but the PICU this time not the NICU. the PICU was a God send, my faith was restored with the caring doctors and nurses, the atmosphere was much different than that of the NICU. Zach was on the vent again for 6 weeks before we were able to get him back on a nasal canula (portable oxygen) after tweaking some meds and getting new scripts we brought Zach back home. this time he was home for about a month, when he had a seziure, the seziure we later learned was caused by a bleed in his head, called a subdural hematoma, it was repaired and we were told it was "old" blood, unsure how the injury occured, and that he had brain atrophy from this. he was sent home on seziure medication as well. up until this brain surgery zach didnt respond to anything, didnt smile, he cried alot. he was fussy, and would just lay all day. after the surgery we saw him SMILING!! it was a miracle. he started to slowly respond to things and "wake up" in a way to his world.

Harold again left for korea this time in october, only about 6-8 weeks after getting zach home from this brain surgery. times were tough. we had nurses inside our home all the time to help, and while it was help, it was a bit "odd" as well. we had therapists coming in as well. many appointments each month to see his specialists, his cardiologist, his pulmonologist, his neurologist, his orthopedics, his GI doc, as well as all the "normal" baby things. needless to say in all of this the boys issues kinda got put on the back burner for a while. shortly after though we started ocupational therapy for mikey though and started to dig further into their issues. with new medications for mikey and chance sleep got better, moods got better, things were looking better.

Harold was gone for a year, when he came back chance was in pre-k and mikey was in 2nd grade. both boys were having problem and issues in school, mikey was hiding under his desk, chewing his clothes, unable to pay attention, complaing the room was to loud and kids were mean and on and on, he wasnt keeping up with his school work and was having an overall bad experience. chance was getting in trouble for "always bumping into kids" (remember i said he was a crasher) and for having to walk circles around you when he talked and unable to sit quietly when needed, he had verbal tics that he would do when he was nervous and it would inturupt the whole class. it was taking a toll on both me and them. it was one more stress i didnt see the point for anymore. i withdrew them both from school after the first 9 weeks and started homeschooling.

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