okay its officially hit me, were in a deployment...duh i knew this but i had pretended it was field time....well thats over now, its hit me today! and this for the record feels awful. why today? it could be that i started MPAT (military parents as teachers) program again, where a wonderful lady comes to our home and does lesson plans for the kids, she has been with our family for 3 years, we took a year break due to zach but she has been following our carepage and been a huge support. things have kinda slowed down and we decided to start up again. she came today at 745 armed and ready .....she brought chance and zach some wonderful books, they are for seperation of parents, you can add photos to them and they explain why dad/mom is gone and such. it could be that on the way home from getting mikey from school he asked me if dad was really gonna be gone for his birthday and when i said yes, he asked if it would be awesome if we could erase that memory of him leaving and change it with him coming home. aw that broke my heart! mikey doesnt talk about missing dad to much, never has he is just a distant kiddo, but today, he reached out in his own way. and for whatever reason everytime my phone got a text today i thought it was Harold telling me he was on his way home from work, then it hit me....this happend several times today. im emotionally spent. im tired and i want this year to pass quickly. i cant wrap my mind around the holidays like i should and i really want to. i love christmas, instead i feel empty.
a wonderful friend of mine had her 3rd baby, her first daughter, Sadey today at 8:06am so she is officially 1 year 1 day and 1 minute younger than zach! she is a beauty as well! were so happy that she is here and doing well.
my house needs to be cleaned and i cant think about it, i feel blah! tomorrow i take mikey to get him a hearing test (more than likely just a referral to ENT) and then i will be having lunch with him at school as they announce his name at lunch for being citizen of the quarter! a proud mommy moment!!:)
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