the road to finding "me" part 4, homeschooling and more

at the point when i withdrew the boys from public school for homeschool i had many people thinking i was crazy, i was one of them. mikey had ocupational therapy 2 times a week that i was dragging him out of school for, plus any out of town appointments he, chance or zach had, so i reasoned with myself that he was missing to much school as well, and he was. zach had therapy coming out to the house 4-5 times a week, plus his doctor appointments, the boys had their psychologist and developmentalist they were seeing plus the normal appointments. life was crazy, and here i was adding fuel to the fire. sigh.

its been a few months since homeschooling has started, and things still get a bit scattered about but were making it. mikey has sence been diagnosed with high functioning autism/asperger's, in addition to the SPD, ADHD, and sleep disturbances, chance had his iq tested at 4 and scored for a 5 year old at the 98%, i was told by the psychologist he was VERY advanced and was genius-like. he is also being tested for being somewhere on the spectrum of autism, or a mood disorder, he is being treated for ADHD in addition to his sleep problems, we still battle with his asthma and him getting croup each season. Zach has remained well and is doing better each day. in june 2009 just a couple months before he turned 2 he sat up on his own! in july he was crawling, and saying mama!! we were sooo happy. he was hitting milestones. he is still fed thru his gtube, he has recently been taken off many of his medications, only taking previcid, pulmicort, viagra, and diuril now. thats a small handful compared to his 13ish when he first came home. he is trying to pull up and walking small steps in a gait trainer. his diagnosis' are chronic lung disease, restrictive airway disease, pulmonary hypertension, pulmonary hypoplasia, repaired congenital diaphragmatic hernia, repaired subdural hematoma, gtube fed, scoliosis, 33 week preemie, hypotonic, brain atrophy, microcephaly, severe global developmental delay. compared to where he was a year ago he has come so far and will continue to thrive!

with all the changes life has thrown our way in the last 10 years my outlook has changed and my opinion on life has changed. i have new stressors that replace what i use to think of as stress. but i have new rewards in my life that make me glad each day i have with them.

with all the issues zach has with his lungs we dont use chemical cleaners in the house anymore, mainly vinegar and baking soda, for everything. its much healthier for us all. were trying to eat healthier, im even learning recipes for making things from scratch. were trying to eliminate our processed foods, rid ourself of those toxins and be more mindful of the enviorment. zach still recieves his RSV shots for the seasons sept thru april due to his fragile lungs but we have decided other than that and his hep shots due to the frequent blood transfusions he has had in the past and may need in the future the boys and us will no longer be immunized with anything. after finally doing our own research on the chemicals in the shots we have decided we dont feel comfortable injecting the posions to our kids. im not sure if any of the shots may have helped to contribute to the autism spectrum disorders or not, but i know now that its not right for us.

so in all after all the rambling, thank you for being so patient, our journey has led me to this path, one where i want to protect our family from everything i can. i want to make our own food, school our children, not vacinate them, keep them away from as many chemicals as possible, some say im trying to live in a bubble... and i will agree. but its my bubble, im not insisting anyone join us, so dont pop my bubble:)

ive become more outspoken, i know more about medical mumbo jumbo than i ever thought was possible, im learning how to stand up for what we feel, without worring is everyone going to be okay with our decisions, im learning how to be more self sufficient, trying to grow our container garden, stock up on food items we can use in case of an emergency, im addicted to couponing, i love sale shopping and thrift shopping, i enjoy making food from scratch now. i enjoy homeschooling the boys...this is the new me. i think i have found my calling with my boys and all their medical mumbo jumbo....................

road to finding "me" part 2, finding out more on SPD

as i left off in the previous post, mikey was just quirky, he was very intellegent though, operating computers, going on websites, he knew it all! i was amazed! around the time mikey was 4 his baby brother Chance was born, Harold left 7 days after he was born for his second tour of Iraq. chance seemed to be developing ahead of schedule, holding his own bottle as soon as he had it at 4 months, i had given up breastfeeding him because he was soooo hungry all the time. once he latched on to the bottle he kept it for the entire feeding, there was no burping him or anything, he was devouring it, inhaling it. he started solids at 5 months and soon was eating EVERYTHING. the "quirks" we had had with mikey seemed to have "skipped" chance, he didnt mind getting dirty, he wouldnt make a peep if he pooed all over himself, thus unlike mikey he was HARD to potty train. he crawled sooner than mikey had, he walked sooner. he was a daredevil! Harold came back home from iraq when chance was 1 year old, and life was good. while Harold had been gone i had been battling sleep issues with mikey, he just didnt seem to "shut down" he was "always going" always moving, he could litteraly stay up from 6am to 3am and do it all over again. it was exhusting. we went to doctors, some said to try benadryl (didnt work) some said to wear him out...i tried. (mikey wouldnt play outside, because "it was hot" or "he would get sweaty" or "dirty") it was ALWAYS something with him. finally a doctor told us to go see a psychologist, she told us he had ADHD and to try melatonin. aaahhh finally the wonder pill....HE SLEPT! again life was good, Chance turned 2 and started the SAME sleep issues, this time i knew what to do, and it worked. we began seeing psychologist again, and the term "sensory processing disorder" was approached again. this time, more information...words like Autism were tossed out. Autism i thought...no he doesnt sit emotionless in a corner rocking, thats NOT my son! man was i UNIMFORMED on the subject. mikey was labled with SPD, ADHD, sleep disturbances, and possibly autism? what the heck? i was blindsided. but that didnt explain chance...chance didnt have SPD, he just didnt sleep. thru therapy we learned that chance probably did infact have SPD, but on the opposite end, he was the dirty,dare devil, loud, crashing into you kid. mikey was the quiet clean kid.

back to school they go

well its half way thru the first week back to school, mikey is in 2nd gade and chance in pre-k. so far all seems okay, from what i can tell. is it normal not to be able to get ANY info from the kiddos about school? they dont say a single word about it. they are like robots going to school, so matter of fact, no excitement, no joy, but also no complaints, no disapointment...they are just there. i wake them up and dress them, feed them, drive them to school, walk them in, they walk to their rooms and go directly to the line outside the door and i have to ask for a kiss, they wouldnt even turn to say goodbye if i didnt ask. in the afternoon they wait till the teacher releases them, they come to me, i ask about school, i ask about friends, lunch, PE, music, math...everything....i get 2-3 word answers, followed by...."can we play"...such and such game when we get home? really...this cant be how kiddos act? is it? i was waiting on excitement, wanting to share something with me. is this part of socialzation problem, from autism? i asked mikey if he made any friends, he told me...um there are two "friends" from last year in his class...i asked if he plays with them..."no" . i asked chance same question....he told me he "made 1000 friends..." when i asked what some names were he said..."i dont know" i asked if he played with them at recess he told me for recess he "traces the lines on the slide, on the top and bottom of the slide" i know you cant see emotions on this page so insert *broken heart* here. ugh.
Mikey has a new ARD planned for friday, im nervous. its a big decision and alot may or may not ride on it, ill go with my instincts this time and not let them alter that feeling, i left last time knowing i had let him down. not again.

Zach....oh my, what can i say....do i want to wow you? shock you? hhhmm let see. for one he is jabbering!! he is singing!!! i "think" he gave me a kiss on my arm! okay let me back up...jabbering...yes he is saying gagaga geegaagagaga gee ALOT! im not sure what he is trying to say, but he is carrying on a conversation! he replied to the ocupational therapist today with a "AAAHHH" sound today when she asked him something, almost like he was yelling at her to hush. and when i was tickling his feet i heard something like "SSTAAA" maybe it was STOP? and on to his singing...ive been singing the itsy bitsy spider, row row row your boat, and some others to him alot lately, he anticipates the next part to the song if i stop, and in my pauses both intential and normal pauses he starts to "sing" mouth open and long vowel sounds coming out. its too cute. tonight during dinner i was holding zach in my arms and we were singing and playing and he laid his head on my to rest, i said "aww baby" and when i said "baby" he popped his head up to smile, i smiled back and so we did this back and forth about 5 times, he was LOVING it and knew when i said "baby" he would pop his head up. after we were done there i turned my head to get a drink and i felt something wet on my arm, when i looked back at him he was smiling, i asked if he kissed my arm and he smiled bigger!!

Zach ate pancakes and syrup tonight...he had strawberry and normal syrup, loved it! he would hit the table for more, and id fight him to get it in and he would smack away. the pancake he got was itsy bitsy...he had 4 tiny finger crumbs, but he ate each one, no gagging, no throwing up, and he was smiling!! if thats what it takes i can make pancakes every day!!

more news? this time on mikey

mikey went to the speech eval. today were trying to pin point his trouble in school. school tested him for dyslexia and i havent heard back yet, i had his vision checked and its fine, the speech therapist was awesome, but going over everything she thinks either in addition to or without the auditory processing disorder he may have a visual processing disorder, he already has a sensory processing disorder and adhd and the sleep problems that he is on medication for, all of these things however are on the spectrum of autism including aspengers and ppdnos, so im suppose to get a referral to some other specialists, get hospital testing for dyslexia and get a ocupational therapist to work with mikey for his fine motor skills, he is still lacking in those areas. i wont get the report from the speech therapist for a few weeks and in december he will have a hearing test adn a specialized hearing test to check for the auditory processing disorder, and hopefully around this time we can pinpoint something and get him help and modifacations in the school system.

im about to check into lala land and out of reality...this sh#t's to hard!!