rough day

man this was not the day i had hoped for....im not sorry to say its ending either. i woke up to my momma dog dead in her cage...and one of her two surviving pups dead with her..no idea what happend...was she sick? did she have a pup she didnt deliver? i dont know. the pups were really small this time and still the first 3 died before we could intervene as they suffocated:( so i tried to nurse the pup, kept the last one in a warm box in a warm room fed it, every two hours, rubbed it as she would with her tounge....and still it died tonight. all 5 pups dead. chance was heartbroken....were all upset.

at 930 i left the house today for an appointment for chance with the behavior therapist, ended up getting both boys seen at the same time. adderall wasnt working for mikey, so he is on ritalin 2x day now and since the blood pressure medication wasnt working to help him sleep they put him on a antidepressant....(gave it to him at 7pm its now 10pm and he is STILL AWAKE!)
chance has been throwing major tantrums for awhile and being violent...of course he showed up today and the doc saw...the doc said i was MUCH more patient than he would have been with him...chance was nuts, kicking mikey, screamin his head off, crying, kicking the couch, pinching me, i just kept redirecting him...nothing helps when he gets like this...just time. and sure enough about 5 minutes into it, he came to me and told me he loved me and he was sorry and hugged me. then he was laughing and playing again....ugh! so the doc said he definatly has some anger issues, but hasnt labled him yet...gave him ritalin 2 x day also for that and to help calm him as he is quite busy too. he also gave him the same antideppresant for sleeping...luckily it worked on him, he is out cold. we have those "fits" of his many times a day, no matter where we are, its embarrasing as i know people are wondering why i cant make him mind...i hope we get some relief with the meds. im tired.
we spent 2 hours in appointment and an 1.5 hours in pharmacy! needless to say i was happy to leave!
tomorrow we head up to temple again to get results from zachs head ct....wish us luck. im ready for a GOOD day!